Monday, August 17, 2009

Engagement Director’s Cut: Ring Sizing Chart/Jeweler Fail

This is embarrassing.  So much so that I didn’t even want to put it in my other engagement post.  That one was the happy one.  That one was about the most important parts of our engagement, which was that it was perfectly romantic, we love each other, and we’re committed to spend our lives together.  Only happy things are allowed in that post.

So here’s what I DIDN’T tell you.  And what I tried to hide from Adam (though he was sharp enough to notice, unfortunately).

The ring didn’t fit.

Not even close.

As he slid it on my finger, I immediately knew I was going to need my ring resized, but of course I didn’t care until the next day.  He knew right away too, that it went on way too easily (and this is a man who does not wear jewelry).  I knew he would be disappointed about the loose ring.  After all, he specifically waited until I could go ring shopping with him in order for the professional to determine my finger ring size.  He'd helped me find a ring sizing chart like this one but that had English sizes prior to the visit.  So of COURSE I didn’t blame Adam.  That jeweler, or his people or whatever really dropped the ball when he tried to size my ring.  I later learned it was a size and a half too large. 

I tried to down play the loose ring with Adam to make him feel better.  I just kept telling him how beautiful that it is.  And it is!  I put a Band-Aid around the underside of the band to keep it from slipping right off before I could go have my ring resized, and that helped a lot in terms of feeling like it was secure.  But it didn’t help the fact that it was very uncomfortable against my pinky and middle finger having what felt like a “spacer” there between them.  I’d try to close my hand and feel this gap.  Really hard to not think about, since I WANTED to think about all the good things the ring symbolizes, and to keep looking at it.  Again, the loose ring didn’t put a damper on the day itself, but I’m telling you now readers, stuff happens.  Not everything regarding your engagement will go perfectly because no one is perfect.  If your fiancé doesn’t get your finger ring size, it’s fixable.  You just have to smile and focus on the positive.  Lifelong love!

Attempting to remedy the loose ring problem was not so simple either.  We couldn’t go back to the jeweler to have him size my ring correctly because I was leaving in 2 days.  And even if he did rush it, I didn’t want my last day with my new fiancé to be spent on an errand.  So we’d have to pay to get my ring resized.

Adam wanted me to do it right away.  Always practical.  I on the other hand, wanted to wait until everyone at work had gawked at it for a little while, haha.  It just would not have been the same if my first day back went something like this:

“I’m engaged!”

“Congratulations, that’s awesome!” *looking down at my hand* “Uh…” 

“Oh, the ring didn’t fit.  But I have one.  Really.  I swear.”

And waiting to tell them would have been equally weird, since they know he lives in England.  Going back to work acting like nothing was new for the first week or so and then one day flashing the ring around and announcing my engagement would have been awkward too.  I didn’t want to have to deal with the question of, “What, did he mail you the ring?”

And finally, and might sound like the craziest part, but I think newly engaged women are allowed; I wanted to wait to have my ring resized until my STUDENTS saw the ring too.  Not even my current ones, because I didn’t think they’d really notice.  No, I had hinted about this with my class last year because I just liked them that much.  I told them “Every year, once my students come back in the fall as fifth graders, they don’t say hi to me.  They don’t even look me in the eye.  You guys are great and I’ll miss you so please don’t do that to me.”  They promised not to, and I told them that if they remembered, I would have some surprise news for them the day they got back to school.

So again, I wanted that ring to flash around, even though it meant waiting a week after the teachers reported back before I went and got them to size my ring better.  I didn’t care if it meant wearing a Band-Aid on my loose ring for 2 weeks.  It looked just as pretty, and it wouldn’t fall off.


  1. You should get those spacers for it. It'll fit better and you won't have to get it cut.

  2. Actually, I did get my engagement ring cut. It wasn't so bad; they charged me about $30. I guess they can keep the gold they cut/melted out for resale so they don't charge too much for labor.

    And I got it back in about a week instead of 2. They were very sensitive about the fact that I'd want to wear it, so that was nice. It wasn't easy parting with it for that long, but I had a claddaugh to wear as a symbol of our relationship.

    I knew in the long run it would be worth it. Like I said, it was too uncomfortable not just because it felt like it could fall off, but also against the other fingers; I couldn't even cup my hand. And it's great now :)


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