New England Bridal Show: Ethan Allen, North Andover

The funny thing about walking into a New England bridal show at this point is that I recognize most of the wedding vendors personally, haha.  But I'm starting to compile a "favorites" list.  I mean, I have the dress and tuxes all set.  I have a photographer and cake person in mind.  And as of tonight I have a caterer in mind.  So the list of contacts in the favorites pile is progressing!  And a bridal show expo is a fun free night to enjoy mom's company :)

The caterer was the first one I’ve met at a bridal show expo other than at Spinellis.  Though I can’t say I MET them, more l like I just thanked them when they handed me food.  But once I tried this caterer’s food and told her I thought it was really good, it turns out she was very personable, so we talked a bit about my wedding day vision (the gorgeous vacation home on the lake) and dietary restrictions (two pescatarians and one very picky vegetarian).  She told me that she thinks the small garden wedding sounds REALLY fun for her; it will almost be like a dinner party.  And coincidentally, her business is in the city I grew up in (not too far from my current hometown).  But it’s so small I’d have probably never found her if not for this bridal trade show.

So now that I’m finding GREAT vendors like this at bridal trade show expos and I know what it feels like to find one, it’s made me realize something.  Previously I felt like I was doing a  wedding wrong.  They are supposed to be big.  I assumed vendors were writing me off because I wasn’t having a “real” wedding, just a little one, and I approached them apologetically.  But I was starting to find vendors that EMBRACE what I want.  And it makes me feel more justified.

Not that I felt like I had to give IN to the pressure before, and have a big guest list just for the sake of it.  It’s not what we wanted and it doesn’t make sense economically.  It’s just that my thinking at a bridal show expo has changed from, “I know it’s not what you vendors want, but it’s what works for our circumstances,” to “Yay, you GET me, and with your resources and my vision this wedding will be beautiful.”  The bridal trade show vendors who are standing out in my mind now as the top contenders are the ones who have made me feel like they are in awe of what my wedding is going to be, and acted as though they are confident and excited about helping me achieve it.

Case in point: I tried wedding cake sample at tonight’s bridal show expo, but the flier for the place said minimum of 75 servings.  So unless everyone at the wedding would like 3 pieces of cake I don't see that happening.  But again, it's fine because I found a cake place months ago I like (who let me know they can do a small one no problem, so if their price is right we're good).

The only other thing notable at the show were a few Massachusetts wedding venues that were recommended to me that are right here in Salem.  One was a function hall which is LOVELY inside, but no outdoor space!  I mean, there’s a public park nearby, but we don’t want a “public wedding.”  And the other is The House of Seven Gables, which is a famous historic home near the water, with gardens and everything.  But when I checked that out, the house is BLACK.  For anyone reading who’s had their wedding there, no offense, that just doesn’t fit my vision.  When you look at historic homes (which I do enjoy!) naturally a lot of times they have wear and tear.  There’s a balancing act between “preserved” and “updated.”  This seemed to err on the side of “preserved” and looked and felt just as old as it is, which isn’t the look I’d like.  Still thinking vacation home will suit my needs much better.  I’d rather something have a traditional look, but be new and clean looking than to be authentic.  And besides, I still think it would be very cozy for Adam’s family to stay at a home, we have all the time we want to set up and prepare and enjoy their company, and have the wedding there.
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How I Work a Bridal Show Expo and Have Fun!

Here's the stuff that maweddingguide.com doesn't tell you!  I’ve been to quite a few New England bridal show expos, and I plan to go to several more because I LOVE them.  Hey, since I’m stuck with a long engagement anyway, I figure I might as well make the most of it.

Bridal trade show expos can feel overwhelming.  Or so I hear.  Maybe if my wedding was in four months I’d feel too pressed for time to want to meander around and only have 2 minutes to look at a vendor’s wares and not have enough of my questions answered as s/he’s trying to promote to hundreds of guests that night.  But for me bridal trade show expos are perfect because I don’t like to drive and do the legwork.  I’d rather take a quick look, decide no or maybe, and sleep on it.

A lot of times it seems like vendors don’t understand that unlike them, professionals, who have done hundreds of weddings, we’re NEW at this.  So when they ask me at the bridal trade show expos if I have any questions, I don’t even know what to ask.  They ask me what style of photography I want and I have no idea what kinds there are.  They ask me what material I want my gown to be and I don’t know what materials are even available.  And I don’t think “the pretty but cheap kind” is quite the answer they’re looking for.  But instead of letting that upset me, I just laugh.  I have a year and a half to figure out this stuff, and I’ll learn as I go.

And in the meantime, I get to look at lots of pretty flowers and dresses.  Vendors at New England bridal show expos give me free hand massages and creams and ask me if they can take my picture so I can see their photo booth.  I get free skin analysis.  And I’m not going to deny it, the best part is I get free dinner.

That’s right, they FEED you at these things.  Well, some better than others.  A few bridal trade show expos have had nothing but a cookie and a couple pieces of candy.  Several of them have had fruit and cheese.  But you know you’ve really hit pay dirt at a bridal trade show when they’re catered.  They have carving stations, pasta stations, and waiters circulate with the BEST little hors d'oeuvres.  And they don’t turn away from you if you’ve already had one.  Nope, they keep coming until you let them know you’re stuffed.  And then you go get yourself some coffee and a sample of wedding cake.  One bridal trade show that has held two bridal shows since I got engaged is Spinellis.  Of all the bridal shows I’ve gone to, they are the best.  If I was looking for a traditional dinner and dancing reception I would pick them in a heartbeat.  I don’t live too far from them, it’s beautiful inside, and they have totally won me over with their catering.  They have the most food, it’s very good, and not only do they have the wedding cakes but they have an enormous pastry buffet.  WOW.

I am telling you brides, go to these New England bridal show expos.  If Adam didn’t require a marriage visa to stay here with me I think I’d just ask him to stay engaged forever and I’d keep going to these things.  On the other hand, you could probably get your fiancé to go with you.  Not at first, oh goodness no.  Joke about it with him about how much he would hate all the girly wedding talk.  But casually mention it was catered.  You keep going to them, bring your maid of honor or your mom along, gradually raving more and more about the food, and he’ll be asking YOU to tag along next time.

There are just a few tips I’ve learned from attending these bridal shows:

• Don’t pay for anything.  At least for those of us planning a wedding in Massachusetts, there are plenty of free events.  
• Check the ads carefully to see if there’s food or not.  If yes, they WILL say so.  And if it says it’s featuring catering from somewhere, you’ve hit the jackpot, you’ll basically have dinner free that night.  Otherwise eat before heading out. When food isn’t advertised the most you’ll get is a cookie or a Hershey Kiss.
• Create an Email address just for wedding planning. This way when you enter raffles and end up on the vendors’ mailing lists it won’t clog up your regular Email.  Plus every bride to be needs to take a break from wedding planning stress, so it’s nice to just not have to look at that stuff during those times. 
• Start a filing system.  Mine is easy.  If I look at an album and see heads cut off and blurry photos, I don’t take that photographer’s card.  If I get a pamphlet from a florist and think “They’re not bad, but it’s too bad there’s no price list,” I leave it in the bag.  But if I try a cake  and think, “Wow, this is REALLY good, and the rates  are reasonable,” I fold the corner, and  once I get home I stick it in a 2 pocket folder that I keep at home.  One side is for invoices once I’ve made deposits or payments.  The other side is for my favorite potential vendors.  My Email system is similar.  There’s folders with: “maybe,” “favorites,” and “confirmed.”  
• Embrace the raffles, but don’t let them fool you.  Some bridal show expos have tons of raffles, so your chances of winning something aren’t bad.  However a lot of the prizes are not prizes, they’re sales.  And some of these sales are NOT good deals.  The first prize I won was a $200 album.  Wow, $200, that’s a lot of money!  But I had to book with them that night, and buy a wedding package from them, which is typically well over $1000.  Buyer beware.  I do recommend you try the raffles though, because sometimes they just say, “Here’s your free bottle of champagne, enjoy.”  I’ve even seen cash prizes.  And I DID benefit from one prize that was basically just a promotion.  I won 2 free tux rentals, plus the rest of the tux rentals at 50% off.  So yes, I did have to shell out money.  But they let me come in at my leisure, so I could shop around a little first, check online reviews of this company, and then go in to book them.  It turned out that it really was a good deal.
• Bring someone along.  Since I can’t bring Adam, I bring my mom.  I think if I went alone, it would either be boring or stressful.  It’s good to have someone with you to chat about non-wedding stuff as a distraction, so you don’t get too overwhelmed.  Because the show is NOT the place choose a vendor.  You need to go to a bridal show expo  with the attitude that it’s just a fun night out where you get to look at pretty stuff and eat.  If you DO find a vendor you like, of course refer to step 4 for staying organized with the serious business of selection.  But don’t feel like  you failed because you don’t know which vendor to pick.  It’s like dating.  Go have fun, but if you don’t expect to meet Mr. Right every time you go.  He’ll come along when you least expect it.

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Photos courtesy of:
Hotshots.at                        Quinn.Anya                     Neeta Lind
Neeta Lind                        Jennifer Schwalm               Tracy Hunter

New England Bridal Show Expo: Portsmouth, NH Ethan Allen

I was a little wary of a bridal show expo hosted at a furniture store instead of a restaurant because I figured the food wouldn’t be as good.  But when I walked in, it was actually very pretty.

There wasn't LOTS of food at this bridal trade show, but what they did have was very good.  They had clam chowder, which I like.  And lobster bisque.  I never had it before; it a little looked gross to me (pureed lobster in a cream base...eek.)  But it was DELICIOUS.  So creamy, with a buttery lobster flavor.  I wouldn’t mind having that at my wedding reception!  It was so rich that even though we just got these tiny little samples of it, that was enough (at first; I had to get seconds after the next hour, haha).  There were wedding cakes too, and I tried 5 of them, haha.  One place at the bridal trade show was just so so, but the other place had a very unique (and good) carrot cake, and a REALLY rich chocolate wedding cake.

There were no raffles at this bridal trade show (well, I'm sure I'll "win" stuff through email, hah) but I did get a present a pretty nice gift!  When Adam visits at Christmastime we can use them for New Year’s.

We can use them to have our champagne on New Year's!

As we were looking through some sample wedding albums, a photographer was chatting with us.  Somehow my engagement photos came up, and he asked where we had them done, so I said England, and he said, "Oh, so no one I know!"  Heh.  He asked where and actually had heard of Kettering (or lied and pretended to hah).  He asked why we got them in England, and asked if I was "bi-coastal" or something, and I said, "because my fiancé lives in England."

Now, usually at this point, the pat answer from vendors at a bridal show expo is, "Oh, wow."  Or, “That's cool," or something happy and positive, smiling cause the customer is always right and needs to be patronized or whatever.  Instead he said, "Oh!  That SUCKS."  

Hahaha!  I LOVED that!  I said, "It DOES suck!"  Haha  I want Adam to BE HERE during our engagement but I can’t have that.  Instead I’m spending my engagement with these same vendors over and over at each bridal show expo.  So it felt good to just have someone voice that, instead of me smiling and pretending like it's all rainbows when I just really miss Adam.  It validated that it’s okay and normal to feel lonely without him here with me. 

New England Bridal Show Expo: Bradford Country Club

This New England bridal show expo was not quite as fun as Spinellis.  Oh sure, there was some free food (cheese, veggies and fruit) and the strawberry champagne punch was great.  But the problem I had was the locale.  See, I grew up not far from the Bradford Country Club.  I always envisioned it as a really fancy place, and always wondered what it was like.  So I was excited to get to check the place out.  Mom and I pulled up on to this bridal show expo this chilly October evening, head along the path, and came to…THE TENT.  We didn’t even get to see inside: the whole event took place out in the freezing cold tent.  We weren’t dressed for an outdoor event either.

This bridal trade show event was kind of a blur anyway.  I had been planning to invite my sister along.  I haven’t asked her to be my maid of honor yet, so I thought she might get into the spirit of wedding stuff if she was being fed.  Unfortunately, she was in a car accident (got rear ended.  Twice).  The 3 car pile up was bad enough to make the news.  She was walking around, but in a lot of pain.  But instead of getting her warmed up to the idea, I almost didn’t go because of her.  I felt weird going and having fun after I learned about her and mom spending the afternoon at the hospital.  But they both said there was no point to canceling the trip to the New England bridal show expo; she just needed to go to bed.

So we did the typical bridal trade show stuff like literature collecting from the vendors, tasting some cakes, (found one AMAZING cake) ran into a friend from high school (working the event) and then watched the presentation done by the DJs.  This portion of the bridal show expo felt more like a real wedding reception, which was somewhat of an improvement.  They led people in line dances and cheesy games, and mom had to leave right before the raffles started, but I stayed and froze like a sucker.  I didn't win any raffles tonight, which figures; because there were prizes unlike those at the previous bridal trade show where you get $100 off if you book with them tonight.  Those didn’t help me since I haven’t set a date yet, but these were prizes I could actually have, like gift baskets and cash.  Oh well.  The whole point of going to these things is that I get to marry Adam, so I win every time.  I dropped of some chocolates I got there at mom’s house for my sister, and head home.
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Photos courtesy of:
Karen 2873
Kristin a (Meringue Bake Shop)
The People’s Tribune
clevercupcakes

Bridal Trade Show: Spinellis

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Since we’re going to be at the mercy of immigration when it comes to planning a wedding, and due to a personal family situation we can’t start that process yet, Adam has said it’s too early to start planning a wedding.

And out of respect for his wishes, I don’t let on that it’s all I think about in my spare time.

So being a total noob when it comes to planning a wedding, I started Googling around.  First I looked up florists.  Yup.  Got a list of florists in Massachusetts.  Um.  Okay, I guess I try cakes now.  Right, these places make cakes.  Great.  I didn’t have much direction at this point.  And by the way, florists and wedding cake bakeries don’t put prices on their website just to make things more difficult.  But as I was clicking around hoping for pictures or something to feed my wedding-lust, I came upon Spinellis website.  Spinellis is a restaurant not too far from where I work, and the teachers and parents rave about their cakes, so I looked at their site, and found a whole wedding section.  And then, at the top of the page, I saw a banner saying “click here to register for the New England Bridal Show.”

Oooh.

So I did, and I learned there are actually THREE bridal shows hosted by New England Bride, and one of those was near me too.  And they are free.  And I can bring a guest.  So I put +1 and called mom and she said she’d love to go.

Now, I had been to a business expo before.  So I figured similarly, at a bridal trade show that there would be tables, and you’d get a bag, and people at the tables would give you pamphlets and maybe a piece of candy or pen or whatever.  And they basically had a room just like that.  Only pretty and wedding-y.

What I was NOT prepared for at my first bridal trade show was the other room.  There were no vendors in there.  Just FOOD.  So much food!  A waiter was walking around with glasses of champagne with a strawberry on the rim.  Followed by more waiters, with all sorts of little hors d’oeuvres.  And then there was a carving station, where we could try the chicken saltimbocca.  And the pasta station with a tomato sauce and one with a cream sauce.  And the samples of wedding cake.  And the dessert buffet that took up about 4 tables.  I could not believe this.  Registration for the bridal trade show was free, and all this food was just free for the taking?  We had SO much fun. 

Eventually we DID go to the other room to talk to the vendors.  The other surprise for the evening was we were given a sheet of stickers with my contact information on it, and as we went to each table there were raffle tickets to stick them on.  I didn’t win anything, but I was impressed with the system the New England bridal show used because I didn’t have to write my name 50 times.  It was a good setup.  And I am well aware that the point of these is for vendors to send me a ton of their junk mail, at least I gave a rarely used Email address to cut down on some of it. 

So I collected brochures, pamphlets and cards, smiled and nodded politely at the vendors.  After all, I had no idea what I was doing.  So while they had hundreds of other girls to introduce themselves to, I had a buffet line to get back to. 
 

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Photo courtesy of:
Emery Co Photo