Saturday, May 7, 2011
Wedding Processional Order: No Father of the Bride
For the processional, I wasn’t sure what we’d do about the traditional walking down the aisle two by two thing, since the numbers don’t really add up. I know Adam and the best man will be there with the JP first. There’s the best man and maid of honor (my sister) who go second to last. But then there’s also his brother who’s a groomsman. And his mom, whose husband won’t be able to attend. And my mom. And then lastly, well, of course, me.
Mom suggested that since my dad won’t be with us that I ask my brother to walk me down the aisle. Which I was cool with. I looked online for more information on the processional and learned that I’d need to walk on his left side because the right side is traditionally the sword hand, which he’d need free to defend me if someone tried to kidnap me on my wedding day. (AWESOME. Must look into having him carry a sword. However, he’s left handed, so maybe this wouldn’t work…) I read somewhere that the whole “giving away the bride” thing was sexist and outdated, but I want a traditional (and possibly sword wielding) wedding and he’s a male family member, so I was happy.
But then I started thinking more about it. He’s my BABY brother. Nine years younger than me. Plus I bought my own home a few years back. I love him, but I am completely self-sufficient and have been for a while; why would HE “give me away?” It really is kind of demeaning.
Instead, I started thinking about the alternative. I walk down the aisle by myself. I think that sends a whole other message. Not “poor fatherless girl.” No, that was my choice, and I won’t be ashamed of it, I’ll be proud. Walking down the aisle BY MYSELF. Of my own volition. To go marry the man I chose. Let’s face it, the moment the bride walks down the aisle, that is supposed to be all about the bride. The song played traditionally is “Here Comes the Bride,” not “The Bride is Being Given Away.” My brother really doesn’t belong in the picture. I think accepting all the attention instead of sharing it will be empowering.
No, I think my brother can still have a role as an usher, seating my mom. And I think that he’s the type that would laugh if I explained to him why I think I’ll walk alone. Though he’ll be very sad to learn he was THIS close to carrying a sword.