Looking for Bride and Groom Cake Toppers with Adam

As Adam and I were looking at wedding cakes, he had pointed out the flowers on top, and I told him that it seems that is the done thing nowadays.  Even though I’ve always kinda thought flowers on cake is weird.  They’re not edible, and don’t seem to belong.  I told him I wasn’t sure what I wanted for a cake topper.  Monogrammed wedding cake toppers, initial wedding cake toppers, hearts on the top tier; I wasn’t limiting my options yet.  So he mentioned that he likes the traditional bride and groom on the top of the cake.

I was SO psyched!  Adam with an opinion on the wedding décor!?  The cake was one thing, but this was a total shock!  And not only that, but secretly, I kinda wanted a couple for a wedding cake topper too!  I feared people might think the bride and groom on the top of the wedding cake would look a little kitchy, a little bit old fashioned, but it’s for a wedding;  If you can’t be over the top romantic then, then when?  So yes, I told him if he liked the idea, it will be so.

I told him that there was one I found at a local craft store with the couple embracing, and he asked to see but I couldn’t find it again.  So he encouraged me to keep looking, and he looked as well.  And we found cake toppers above that were by one of the same designers that I found, but it was a little bit raunchier than we wanted.  There were funny ones too, and really pretty ones, but not the couple I had in mind to show him.

 So after looking a long time, he finally found a nice, traditional one of the groom carrying the bride.  I loved it.  Not only is it nice on its own, and one I probably would have picked, but just the fact that HE chose it too sealed the deal.  We looked at a few more, (above) and there were a few nice ones, ones that both of us agreed on, but the initial butterflies I got when he picked that one weren’t there for any of those, so that’s definitely the most romantic option in my book.  Wow.

Aww :)

I know what they say, that while the marriage itself is about the couple, planning a wedding is really all about the bride, she should just pick what she likes, and the man doesn’t care anyway.  And it took me a while to get used to this, but I did.  After all, if he and I were butting heads for the whole wedding planning stuff, that wouldn’t be fun.  But to have something we agree on for OUR WEDDING felt amazing.  Not sure agreeing on wedding details is the best predictor of agreement during the marriage overall, but it can’t hurt.

A Three Tiered Cake: Adam Gets in on the Wedding Planning!

Adam and I had the nicest talk today.  I told Adam about hunt for a three tiered cake that would be the right size for our small wedding guest list.  He doesn’t act too excited about most of my wedding planning (but how many grooms do?) but the one thing that never fails to pique his interest is the cake. 

By this point I had tasted wedding cakes from a handful of places at various bridal shows.  One place I had checked out was Cakes for Occasions.  They were at the Danversport Bridal show in February.  People at work rave about their gourmet cakes.  So I inquired about if they could make a three tier cake for my small guest list; I figure when the time comes I want to price shop and make an informed decision.  Unfortunately they said the smallest three tier cake they could make for a wedding was for 150 people.  So unless I have each guest bring home 5 or so pieces of cake, that’s not happening.

But there was another place I really liked that was at two separate bridal shows I went to. So I mentioned to Adam about their wedding cake flavors.  At first he said he wants a white (on the inside) cake, but I told him it’s boring, hah.  But I let him know that the beauty of a three tier wedding cake (other than the visual beauty, heh) is that we can pick different flavors for each tier!  I told him I want to pick a tier and he can pick a tier (and he can even have the big bottom tier).  So he got more adventurous, and we perused their online menu.  Now he’s leaning toward red velvet cake with black cherry frosting.  I’m leaning toward a lemon cake with raspberry preserves.  I think they’re both going to be awesome!

Once his appetite was whetted, he even started to get into the LOOK of the cake.  He showed me one, let’s say “whimsical” tier cake and I said no.  He laughed that I just shut him down instantly and I told him sorry, he can have the flavor he likes for his tier, but I am going to be very picky about the look of the cake.  I want it white.  Just white.  And a very traditional three tier cake with some sort of filigree.  The purple stripes and flowers on the black and white cake was NOT going to cut it for me at all (as always, no offense if this sounds like your dream cake, it’s just not the style I’m going for).  So he admitted that when he thinks of wedding cake, he thinks white and traditional is preferable too, and was just teasing me.  So he linked me to another tier cake.  That was the one.  That’s it.  So long as the price is as good as the taste, I’ve got my baker and I won’t even need to go the custom route.  I can point to the three tier cake on their website and tell them “do that again, for us please.” 

Maybe we’ll collaborate on the top tier, but that’s a conversation (and post) for another day.  Plus if I can manage to get him to the place for a tasting, we might find we enjoy a different flavor than we expect.
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Photos courtesy of:
Afroswede          Cherry Pi           Frostnova     
Samdogs             Caribou               Daveynin
Soa2002              Donnaphoto     Amy the Nurse
Basykes              Phil_g                   Karla Cakes        

Choosing the Bridal Party

In the early stages of “I’m engaged now what?” I started worrying about choosing my bridal party.  One thing I learned in my travels to other wedding websites is that you CAN have uneven sides when it comes to the bridal party.  Seeing it in black and white that we can have a different number of bridesmaids vs. groomsmen was SUCH a relief to me, although I felt a little silly for worrying about it in the first place.

We’re having a really small guest list.  Neither of us are close to our extended family, and we’re both pretty shy and reserved, so we want just immediate family and our close friends.  (No looking up old high school buddies on Facebook for us).  So for my bridal party I only want a maid of honor (my sister) and no bridesmaids or I wouldn’t have anyone to WATCH the ceremony, just stand beside me.  On the other hand, although Adam hasn’t exactly committed to who his best man will be and who his groomsman will be, I know he wants his brother and best friend up there with him.

I suppose I could choose one of my friends to be in the bridal party, and the others could watch.  But how do I choose just one without hurting the feelings of the others?  We met around the same time, we socialize pretty much the same amount; there is no “best friend,” we’re just equally friendly.  Preserving my relationship with all of them is more important to me than “matching” the groom’s side.  And I suppose it’s true that maybe I COULD have a discussion with Adam about having “family only” in the bridal party so the sides are balanced.  But not only is this guy his friend from childhood, but if his friend is going to the trouble of flying from England to America then he deserves a special place there.  And Adam hasn’t asked for much regarding the whole wedding thing.  So no, setting a limit wouldn’t make for a happier day for us.  And are people really going to point and whisper, "Look, they can't count, they don't have enough bridesmaids!"  Photos are just as pretty with unbalanced sides.  The couple smiles just as big.

So it’s not like prior to finding advice online about the bridal party I planned to tell Adam, “Pick one because I have one.”  I want him to have all the support that he likes, and not increase the pressure on him when it comes to the wedding.  But I feel less like I’m breaking tradition now that the internets have given me permission to just go with it.  Readers, will your bridal party be uneven?  If so, is it concerning you in terms of the ceremony or formal photos?
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Photos courtesy of:
Ripkas
Gretchen Mahen
Skatoolaki

Massachusetts Wedding Planning Help: Trying a Wedding Planning Website

I needed a distraction from the heartache of losing out on my dream wedding venue.  I decided it was time to check out a popular wedding planning website.

I already learned a lot from more than one wedding planning website.  Previously I found:

• Ideas on what to do at a wedding reception other than dancing 
• Inspiration for wedding color palettes  
• Budget calculators that broke components of my budget down into percentages for me
• Locations of local venues and their open house days
• Sign ups for bridal show expo mailings  
• Wedding planning “to do” lists and timelines
• A free ring sizer 
• Which flowers are in season and wouldn’t wilt for an August wedding 
• A huge wedding dress sale thanks to a bridal shop mailing list I was on 

I never would have figured this out on my own.

But now that I had the basics and new what stuff and money was needed for planning a wedding, I decided to check out the forums on the wedding planning website I picked.  What I really wanted now were some specific suggestions on good vendors.  I liked the caterer, baker,  photographer, dress shop, and tuxedo rental place that I’d found.  But not only did I want to check up on them before I had to book (just in CASE my gut instinct was wrong) I also wanted to find local:

• Classical wedding musicians
• Seamstresses
• Makeup artists
• Hair dressers
• Florists for weddings

I thought I was going to get advice about local vendors and venues, but it wasn’t quite as localized as I hoped.  This was around the time I started the idea for this blog.  I’d already done some research and learned a lot.  And since this REALLY popular website was lacking in that area, maybe I could fill a need on these big wide internets.  So I started this blog as a wedding planning website, so that if you’re planning a wedding in Massachusetts, hopefully it will be helpful for you.

That’s not to say I didn’t learn a LOT on this particular popular wedding planning website.  These ladies had a lot of experience and a lot of opinions.  It was just a little more…personal.  They talked about mother in law problems, (and mother problems) wedding dress advice, and jewelry suggestions.  So, stuff that any bride could relate to, and benefit from, not just brides here in Massachusetts.

But they also seemed to worry a lot about stuff that I didn’t hadn’t really thought about.  I’ve learned a lot about wedding etiquette that I just never would have imagined before.  Some made me think twice about what I planned for my wedding.  Most of it has just added to my wedding planning stress.

• Getting a “better” engagement ring to replace the first one What?!  There’s an interesting way to emasculate your future husband.  Maybe that's easy for me to say because Adam brought me to pick mine out, but still.  Ouch. 
• Save The Dates  The first time I read about giving guests STDs I was appalled, but later learned that it is the norm to sent out pre-invitations called “Save the Dates.” Apparently this invitation gives only the date but not the location and time. Then a second invitation will give the location and time. Why is this necessary? Do people set a date before they have a venue booked? That’s the only reason I can think why this is necessary. I don’t think I need to follow this rule, however, since my guest list is so small Adam and I can easily tell them through word of mouth.
• Wedding shoes I kind of thought the dress would cover my feet pretty well, but apparently photographers take pictures of the shoes alone, or with the ring around the stiletto heel.
• Getting a second wedding dress Why would I want a separate one for the reception?  I’m paying more for the gown than I ever paid for a dress before.  I’m going to wear it for as long as possible!
• Heavy Drinking  Apparently, many people expect lots of alcohol to be served at a wedding.  Now, I’m not a big drinker, and neither is Adam.  I planned on having champagne because it’s elegant, and I’ll never get more elegant than the big white wedding gown.  But having a full open bar?  Not something I planned on.  I am the last person to think about a drink (any drink, I don’t even get a soda with my meals when I get fast food) so I guess I thought wine with dinner, champagne toast, but after that…I didn’t think.

And other stuff like that just made me feel more overwhelmed instead of helping me.

But it wasn't just the superfluous stuff they agonized over that I found stressful.  They also fought passionately on this wedding planning website over things like whether it’s tacky to serve sandwiches at a wedding, or if it’s all about what works/pleases the couple.  They ripped into vendors, even those who posted on seemingly appropriate threads.  They aired their personal issues, and they told these poor young girls that they didn’t understand what marriage is about; they clearly just wanted to wear a white dress to a big fancy party.

I stayed on for a while, hoping to learn more tips from this wedding planning website, but in the end it was clear.  This was dominated by a handful of women who were already married, and for some reason stayed on to let everyone else know if they're doing it right or wrong.  I felt pretty uncomfortable posting on that wedding planning website since I felt like I was in the minority on a number of issues.  Some of them pretty personal.  But I did learn things along the way.  Even if a lot of what I learned was that even though I thought I wanted my wedding to be traditional, there were a lot of traditional things that didn’t seem to fit me.  I guess I want it to LOOK traditional, but I’ll be breaking tradition in order to simplify.  At least I was learning what I don’t like well in advance of having to commit to anything.

Since it’s not time for me to book anything, I still have lots of time to really judge for myself which suggestions to pass on, and which to take to heart.  Readers, are there any wedding traditions that you decided you just don’t need to bother with, and why?
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Venues for Weddings in Massachusetts: The Search Continues (My First Wedding Planning Disappointment)

I had my first wedding planning disappointment today.  I’m sure it won’t be my last.  Still pretty crummy though.

I knew it was a bad idea to have my heart set this one place the perfect wedding reception spot so far in advance.  I’m hoping to be married in a year and a half, after all.  We can’t set a date yet so I can’t book anything.  But there’s a fine line between waiting for the right time and wasting valuable preparation time.  So I wanted to see what was out there in terms of small venues for weddings in Massachusetts.  And I happened upon the most beautiful little vacation home that I knew would be the perfect wedding reception location for us.

Yeah, we want to have our wedding at a private residence.  I mean, it would be the perfect wedding reception venue for my small guest list.  We're only having about 25 people so most venues for weddings in Massachusetts are function halls that are way too large.  We don’t want dancing after, so I’d like other things for us to do after we eat.  I’ve been looking at outdoor venues for weddings in Massachusetts so it doesn’t need a big room, just a nice yard.  Adam’s family will need accommodations of course.  So why not let them make a week of it at a nice home?  And for that matter, I could use that week to show them around the state so they can see where Adam will be living.  Adam agreed a vacation home is a perfect wedding reception venue because it was geared exactly to our particular needs.

So out of all the homes I looked at that had the potential to be venues for weddings in Massachusetts I found a place that has it ALL.  A beautiful garden with flowers all around the retaining walls would be the perfect wedding reception spot, with a few circular tables dotted around.  It looked just like the gardens in England for Adam: so pretty that I wouldn’t have to buy much in the way of flower centerpieces.  There was a lake in the back for me, so I envisioned amazing outdoor wedding photos.  There was a gazebo, balconies galore, a nice neutral décor inside, a baby grand piano.  A billion different spots for beautiful outdoor wedding pictures.  The price for a one week rental rivaled the cost of most traditional venues for weddings in Massachusetts for a single day.  And it was only about an hour away from me.

I was obsessed with this house for about a week.  I knew it was too good to be true.  Last night I emailed Adam to say, “This is bad.  I really have my heart set on this place, and I know it’s too soon to commit to a wedding reception venue.”  We’re just not ready to set a date until we start the visa application process.

I made plans to go see it with mom (on the advice of a friend who feels that internet photos lie) since I’m on vacation this week.  I emailed for permission to walk around the grounds to get a better sense of the place.

I got an Email back with permission, but was told that the house was up for sale.  After September of this year there would be no more reservations taken.  No way can we move up our date to this summer; there’s just no guarantees when Adam would get a visa.

Gutted.

I’d had a hard enough time the past week, being unable to spend Valentine’s Day with Adam (planning a trip to England is hardly worth it when I only have a week off).  And now I lose my perfect wedding reception spot.  Readers, I really hope your soul mate isn’t living in a different country from you, because although you have the benefit of a partner with a sexy foreign accent, the long distance thing can REALLY mess with your plans.

If you're curious about seeing more images, the house is here and since the direct link no longer works, you need to scroll down to the listing that says, "Elegant Pondside Victorian."  It sure is.  *tear*
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Photo from:
Google maps

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Massachusetts Wedding Venue: The Stevens Estate, N. Andover

This evening’s bridal trade show at the Steven’s Estate in North Andover, MA was easy compared to my first New England bridal show.  I am a pretty shy person, now that I’m experienced and feel like I’m the one in control, I can definitely put on the confident act at the bridal trade show expos.  And what’s more confidence inspiring than looking forward to the day when the man you love commits the rest of his life to you?  So I look those bridal trade show vendors in the eye like, “bring it on.”  So what if I don’t have a  date set?  So what if I’ll only have 25 guests?  I’m the bride and that’s what I want so either make it happen or I’ll find someone who can!”

At least, I say that in my head.  Out loud it’s more like, “I see.  Thank you.”  ;) 

And as it happens, some of them do decide they’re not the one to “make it happen” for me.  I’ll never forget one photographer at a bridal trade show actually said “oh” and literally turned his back on me immediately.  That sort of thing would have been embarrassing and hurtful in the beginning, but now I can laugh about it.  And hey, if a vendor is doing so well that they don’t need my business, it’s all good.

This bridal trade show was different.  Much smaller, very few vendors, and less like a convention as it was in a historical home.  This wedding venue had a lot of what I’m looking for: pretty outdoor space for a ceremony.  Pretty, neutral, VERY traditional (old and expensive looking) inside.  Too expensive looking inside.  It was so rich it felt heavy.  All that wood paneling, the copper ceiling, I could feel the metaphoric weight added onto the knowledge that this place was going to be so far over my budget that I didn’t have to take it seriously.

Figures mom liked it and tried to talk me into it.

Of course, when I show her the differences in price between the place I like and this place it will be no contest for her.  She’s always about going as cheap as possible.  So I’ve learned from her that given the choice between two places I like about equally, I’ll be going for the cheaper one, be it venues, flowers, catering, whatever.  The cost for the Steven's Estate is about $3100 for the day (peak season on a weeknight, and I added in their ceremony fee to the figure) and that does not include catering, just grounds, tent, tables, chairs, and linens.  For that price I could rent a VERY nice vacation home for the week.

Besides price, another thing I didn’t like too much was the coordinator.  She was the stereotypical wedding planner: skinny, high energy, and loud with phony excitement.  She gave me a tour, showed me the bridal suite and said stuff like, “out there where you can’t see, that’s where you’d have your ceremony…”  It was all I could do to laugh that they were taking me on a tour and trying to sell me on the look of something I can’t see.  Maybe for nighttime bridal show expo tours a photograph of the grounds from that window could have helped?  She went on to say, “I will knock on your door and say…what’s your name again?” “Amber.” “'Amber are you ready to get married?' And you’d say, 'Just two more minutes,' and I’d go knock on Adam’s door and say, 'Adam, go ahead down, Amber’s ready for you,' and then I’d come back and say, 'Amber, don’t keep Adam waiting.'”

That seemed SO odd to me.  So she’s trying to sell me on this venue by telling me she will lie to my groom and then pressure me into hurrying up.  Wow.  I understand it’s good to stick to a schedule, but at least pretend to be sensitive to our needs?  That and the fact that she said we’d each have our suites for a couple of hours.  If I go with a vacation home I can have the rooms for a week.  No, this place didn’t feel warm and inviting to me.  Very ornate and picturesque, but not romantic and intimate.

Apparently I'm not the only one who thought so.  Here's a review from someone who got married there, who echoes my feeling. 

So I enjoyed the bridal show expo as though I was just out at a party with my mom, haha.  The food was fantastic.  I’m putting this caterer on my shortlist.  We had the most tender fillet, nice salad, a little pasta, one sample with a rich cream sauce and the other sample with a bold tasty tomato sauce, perfect non greasy spinach pie, a few other little appetizers, and chocolate mousse with berries.  All very nice.  I now have two caterers that I’ve met at different bridal show expo events who I’d be just as happy with, so I can let price decide.
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Bridal Show Expo: Ethan Allen, North Andover, Massachusetts

This bridal show at Ethan Allen in North Andover had the typical wedding photographers, florists and DJs.  We got to sample foods from yummy local caterers and wedding cake bakeries.  In fact, I sampled some food from a caterer in the city I grew up in, Haverhill, Massachusetts, who I just might hire for my wedding.  She was one of the few vendors that seemed enthusiastic about working with me for my small wedding, instead of sympathetic or eager to end the conversation in hopes of snagging the next bride with a longer guest list and subsequent price tag.  Plus her food was yummy, and she had fliers with her (reasonable) price list in black and white.  It doesn’t get much better than that!

Another fun thing at this bridal show was visit a spa for makeup and skin care type stuff.  They had this machine where you stick your head in and it shows you everything that's wrong with your skin.  That way you get to feel ugly and want to pay them lots of money to cover up your skin with makeup. 

I tried it and she said she could see my skin is dry (which I don't think of as a problem for me because usually it's oily!  But I guess in winter, yeah.)  And she said I have dark circles under my eyes which could be from dehydration (yes) lack of sleep (yes) or hereditary (probably).  But other than that she said my pores look good, which was surprising.  And there was very little discoloration, which was not surprising.  There was a mirror in there that I could look down at while she looked in at me, and to me it just looked like I was very freckly!  It was actually kind of cool!  I mean, not that I would want to suddenly have a ton of freckles, but it was funny seeing what I look like with them.  Under a completely unnatural blue light, that is.  Which reflects off the retinas so I looked possessed.  A blue, possessed, freckled woman. Interesting experience!  But it didn’t sell me on how they could make me look amazing on my wedding day, so I’m not really hot on hiring them. 

That’s the interesting thing about bridal shows.  There are so many different vendors there, you never know what you’re going to come away with.  I’d tried lots of yummy wedding caterers from all over Massachusetts, but this was the first one that seemed to want to work with me, and have a good vision for what my wedding would be like.  So all in all, it was a productive wedding expo! 

New England Bridal Show: Ethan Allen, North Andover

The funny thing about walking into a New England bridal show at this point is that I recognize most of the wedding vendors personally, haha.  But I'm starting to compile a "favorites" list.  I mean, I have the dress and tuxes all set.  I have a photographer and cake person in mind.  And as of tonight I have a caterer in mind.  So the list of contacts in the favorites pile is progressing!  And a bridal show expo is a fun free night to enjoy mom's company :)

The caterer was the first one I’ve met at a bridal show expo other than at Spinellis.  Though I can’t say I MET them, more l like I just thanked them when they handed me food.  But once I tried this caterer’s food and told her I thought it was really good, it turns out she was very personable, so we talked a bit about my wedding day vision (the gorgeous vacation home on the lake) and dietary restrictions (two pescatarians and one very picky vegetarian).  She told me that she thinks the small garden wedding sounds REALLY fun for her; it will almost be like a dinner party.  And coincidentally, her business is in the city I grew up in (not too far from my current hometown).  But it’s so small I’d have probably never found her if not for this bridal trade show.

So now that I’m finding GREAT vendors like this at bridal trade show expos and I know what it feels like to find one, it’s made me realize something.  Previously I felt like I was doing a  wedding wrong.  They are supposed to be big.  I assumed vendors were writing me off because I wasn’t having a “real” wedding, just a little one, and I approached them apologetically.  But I was starting to find vendors that EMBRACE what I want.  And it makes me feel more justified.

Not that I felt like I had to give IN to the pressure before, and have a big guest list just for the sake of it.  It’s not what we wanted and it doesn’t make sense economically.  It’s just that my thinking at a bridal show expo has changed from, “I know it’s not what you vendors want, but it’s what works for our circumstances,” to “Yay, you GET me, and with your resources and my vision this wedding will be beautiful.”  The bridal trade show vendors who are standing out in my mind now as the top contenders are the ones who have made me feel like they are in awe of what my wedding is going to be, and acted as though they are confident and excited about helping me achieve it.

Case in point: I tried wedding cake sample at tonight’s bridal show expo, but the flier for the place said minimum of 75 servings.  So unless everyone at the wedding would like 3 pieces of cake I don't see that happening.  But again, it's fine because I found a cake place months ago I like (who let me know they can do a small one no problem, so if their price is right we're good).

The only other thing notable at the show were a few Massachusetts wedding venues that were recommended to me that are right here in Salem.  One was a function hall which is LOVELY inside, but no outdoor space!  I mean, there’s a public park nearby, but we don’t want a “public wedding.”  And the other is The House of Seven Gables, which is a famous historic home near the water, with gardens and everything.  But when I checked that out, the house is BLACK.  For anyone reading who’s had their wedding there, no offense, that just doesn’t fit my vision.  When you look at historic homes (which I do enjoy!) naturally a lot of times they have wear and tear.  There’s a balancing act between “preserved” and “updated.”  This seemed to err on the side of “preserved” and looked and felt just as old as it is, which isn’t the look I’d like.  Still thinking vacation home will suit my needs much better.  I’d rather something have a traditional look, but be new and clean looking than to be authentic.  And besides, I still think it would be very cozy for Adam’s family to stay at a home, we have all the time we want to set up and prepare and enjoy their company, and have the wedding there.
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Massachusetts Wedding Venues: Vacation Home Rental

I looked at a number of Massachusetts wedding venues before I realized a vacation home would be the best option for me.  For my outdoor wedding I wanted a nice yard, with a decent interior in case the weather did not cooperate.  That is, one that is neutral and won’t clash with my wedding colors.  No wood paneling on the walls, no pink carpet, no blue anything.  And I really was kidding myself thinking that it didn’t matter if it was near the water.  I want it near the water!  I wanted it to look as nice as your typical Massachusetts wedding venues but be more scaled down to accommodate 25 guests, and have enough bedrooms for Adam’s family to stay the week on their trip to America.

Well, as I kept looking at places, I realized a few other things that were important to me.  I wanted a porch or deck.  It would be a perfect place to have a buffet set up.  And I wanted an open floor plan so that it felt open enough for all the guests.  A grand foyer would be ideal, but an open floor plan at least would work.  As for the yard, I didn’t want it to be close to neighbors.  That’s one advantage typical Massachusetts wedding venues have over your average yard: they’re nowhere near the road.  I’ll need something set back a bit.

At first I was looking at 2 bedroom homes.  Then reality hit me that for the number of visitors Adam had coming, it needs to be 3 or even 4 bedrooms, especially if I want to kick him out and make sure he doesn’t see me the morning of the wedding.

Well, I found THE most gorgeous house tonight [Edit: the direct link stopped working, but you can now scroll down a bit and it's the first listing].  It’s totally on par with your typical Massachusetts wedding venues.  It looks like an estate with a gorgeous garden, 5 bedrooms, all glass doors on the bottom, a pond, balconies galore a little swinging chair on the wrap around porch.  I mean, ENDLESS photo ops at this place.  I would not miss the luxury of a function hall at all here.  In fact, it’s so breathtakingly amazing I think it just might be worth it to cheap out on flowers if it means I can be in that amazing garden.  I can't WAIT to set a date; I'm so excited.  This is the house I want to marry Adam in!

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How I Work a Bridal Show Expo and Have Fun!

Here's the stuff that maweddingguide.com doesn't tell you!  I’ve been to quite a few New England bridal show expos, and I plan to go to several more because I LOVE them.  Hey, since I’m stuck with a long engagement anyway, I figure I might as well make the most of it.

Bridal trade show expos can feel overwhelming.  Or so I hear.  Maybe if my wedding was in four months I’d feel too pressed for time to want to meander around and only have 2 minutes to look at a vendor’s wares and not have enough of my questions answered as s/he’s trying to promote to hundreds of guests that night.  But for me bridal trade show expos are perfect because I don’t like to drive and do the legwork.  I’d rather take a quick look, decide no or maybe, and sleep on it.

A lot of times it seems like vendors don’t understand that unlike them, professionals, who have done hundreds of weddings, we’re NEW at this.  So when they ask me at the bridal trade show expos if I have any questions, I don’t even know what to ask.  They ask me what style of photography I want and I have no idea what kinds there are.  They ask me what material I want my gown to be and I don’t know what materials are even available.  And I don’t think “the pretty but cheap kind” is quite the answer they’re looking for.  But instead of letting that upset me, I just laugh.  I have a year and a half to figure out this stuff, and I’ll learn as I go.

And in the meantime, I get to look at lots of pretty flowers and dresses.  Vendors at New England bridal show expos give me free hand massages and creams and ask me if they can take my picture so I can see their photo booth.  I get free skin analysis.  And I’m not going to deny it, the best part is I get free dinner.

That’s right, they FEED you at these things.  Well, some better than others.  A few bridal trade show expos have had nothing but a cookie and a couple pieces of candy.  Several of them have had fruit and cheese.  But you know you’ve really hit pay dirt at a bridal trade show when they’re catered.  They have carving stations, pasta stations, and waiters circulate with the BEST little hors d'oeuvres.  And they don’t turn away from you if you’ve already had one.  Nope, they keep coming until you let them know you’re stuffed.  And then you go get yourself some coffee and a sample of wedding cake.  One bridal trade show that has held two bridal shows since I got engaged is Spinellis.  Of all the bridal shows I’ve gone to, they are the best.  If I was looking for a traditional dinner and dancing reception I would pick them in a heartbeat.  I don’t live too far from them, it’s beautiful inside, and they have totally won me over with their catering.  They have the most food, it’s very good, and not only do they have the wedding cakes but they have an enormous pastry buffet.  WOW.

I am telling you brides, go to these New England bridal show expos.  If Adam didn’t require a marriage visa to stay here with me I think I’d just ask him to stay engaged forever and I’d keep going to these things.  On the other hand, you could probably get your fiancé to go with you.  Not at first, oh goodness no.  Joke about it with him about how much he would hate all the girly wedding talk.  But casually mention it was catered.  You keep going to them, bring your maid of honor or your mom along, gradually raving more and more about the food, and he’ll be asking YOU to tag along next time.

There are just a few tips I’ve learned from attending these bridal shows:

• Don’t pay for anything.  At least for those of us planning a wedding in Massachusetts, there are plenty of free events.  
• Check the ads carefully to see if there’s food or not.  If yes, they WILL say so.  And if it says it’s featuring catering from somewhere, you’ve hit the jackpot, you’ll basically have dinner free that night.  Otherwise eat before heading out. When food isn’t advertised the most you’ll get is a cookie or a Hershey Kiss.
• Create an Email address just for wedding planning. This way when you enter raffles and end up on the vendors’ mailing lists it won’t clog up your regular Email.  Plus every bride to be needs to take a break from wedding planning stress, so it’s nice to just not have to look at that stuff during those times. 
• Start a filing system.  Mine is easy.  If I look at an album and see heads cut off and blurry photos, I don’t take that photographer’s card.  If I get a pamphlet from a florist and think “They’re not bad, but it’s too bad there’s no price list,” I leave it in the bag.  But if I try a cake  and think, “Wow, this is REALLY good, and the rates  are reasonable,” I fold the corner, and  once I get home I stick it in a 2 pocket folder that I keep at home.  One side is for invoices once I’ve made deposits or payments.  The other side is for my favorite potential vendors.  My Email system is similar.  There’s folders with: “maybe,” “favorites,” and “confirmed.”  
• Embrace the raffles, but don’t let them fool you.  Some bridal show expos have tons of raffles, so your chances of winning something aren’t bad.  However a lot of the prizes are not prizes, they’re sales.  And some of these sales are NOT good deals.  The first prize I won was a $200 album.  Wow, $200, that’s a lot of money!  But I had to book with them that night, and buy a wedding package from them, which is typically well over $1000.  Buyer beware.  I do recommend you try the raffles though, because sometimes they just say, “Here’s your free bottle of champagne, enjoy.”  I’ve even seen cash prizes.  And I DID benefit from one prize that was basically just a promotion.  I won 2 free tux rentals, plus the rest of the tux rentals at 50% off.  So yes, I did have to shell out money.  But they let me come in at my leisure, so I could shop around a little first, check online reviews of this company, and then go in to book them.  It turned out that it really was a good deal.
• Bring someone along.  Since I can’t bring Adam, I bring my mom.  I think if I went alone, it would either be boring or stressful.  It’s good to have someone with you to chat about non-wedding stuff as a distraction, so you don’t get too overwhelmed.  Because the show is NOT the place choose a vendor.  You need to go to a bridal show expo  with the attitude that it’s just a fun night out where you get to look at pretty stuff and eat.  If you DO find a vendor you like, of course refer to step 4 for staying organized with the serious business of selection.  But don’t feel like  you failed because you don’t know which vendor to pick.  It’s like dating.  Go have fun, but if you don’t expect to meet Mr. Right every time you go.  He’ll come along when you least expect it.

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Photos courtesy of:
Hotshots.at                        Quinn.Anya                     Neeta Lind
Neeta Lind                        Jennifer Schwalm               Tracy Hunter

Massachusetts Wedding Venue: Spinellis, Lynnfield MA

Spinelli’s bridal show expo was even better the second time around.  I worried a LITTLE about my expectations being too high.  But unlike the other New England bridal show expos that are at country clubs or hotels instead of restaurants, the food is just from whatever vendors show up and they just bring a little something (or not, in some cases) since they're an actual wedding venue with their own catering, they're expected to be more full service.

Spinelli’s had so much good food at the New England bridal show expo that I was totally stuffed by the end and turning down the wait staff coming around with passed hors d’ourves.  They had 2 kinds of stuffed chicken, one with cheese and red peppers and it was hand carved in front of us so it was nice and moist, then another one with asparagus on, 2 kinds of pasta, one with marinara sauce and the other with a rich Alfredo sauce, little eggplant puffs, stuffed mushrooms, spinach pies, scallops wrapped in bacon, chicken quesadillas, veggie turnovers, spring rolls, and steak fillet so tender it was like BUTTER.  Then there was the wedding cake, cream puffs, chocolate covered strawberries, strawberry cheesecake and champagne.  Mom asked me to thank Adam for marrying me.  Haha, we ate VERY well at the bridal show expo that night.  And again:  FREE.

I do wish Adam could be a part of these bridal show expo visits.  But even if he wasn’t in England, I know that they wouldn’t be as fun for him.  There aren’t that many grooms in attendance anyway.  So I don’t need to feel guilty that I get all the fun without him.  He’s happy for me that I’m having fun.

Working the vendors area at this New England bridal show was second hand at this point too.  I asked about the pretty flowers I liked and laughed at the horrible and was able to sail right past the wedding gown and tuxedo booths with confidence cause I'm all set with them.  So I didn't win anything at the bridal show expo tonight, but it was still fun.

I’d really love to have Spinellis cater our wedding, but I bet they're pricey for off site visits (they want couples to use use them as their wedding venue since they have to maintain their facilities).  For just the reception, it's about $60-$70 for a plated dinner, but that does include a champagne toast and cake (and their cakes are fantastic).  They are a gorgeous wedding venue, all Tuscan style inside with (fake?) marble.  It's exactly the LOOK I like, and it would make for beautiful photos.  But I still think renting a house for Adam’s family to stay in on their visit from England and having a wedding ceremony plus reception there will work best for us.  It'll be cozier for our tiny guest list too, instead of doing a separate reception hall that's meant for 200 people.  And since we don't want dancing after dinner, a ballroom wouldn't allow the sort of fun backyard activities we're looking forward to.  I'm sure when the time comes I'll find a pretty house and it'll feel like a much more intimate wedding venue than a restaurant.
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You Won: Classic Tuxedos

Adam was visiting over Christmas break.  Of course we had a great time overall, but as all couples inevitably do, we had a little fight.  And in the middle of it, the phone rang.

“Hi this is Classic Tuxedos.  You won our raffle…”

I almost hung up the phone and said I wasn’t interested.  Not only was I grumpy with Adam at the moment, but these raffle prizes turned out to be a scam every time.  But I took their number and said I’d call back when I was ready to rent a tux, and when the guy said “I said you won, are you happy?”  I kind of laughed to myself.  The least I could do was to check the place out and learn more about what’s available.

So as I did when shopping for wedding dresses, I looked at some of the tuxes on the Classic Tuxedos website.  I got a good idea of the look I wanted before I went in to rent a tux.  Since I’m going for traditional and elegant they’ll be black, and I think the 2 buttoned jackets look more structured than the 1 button, and have a nicer cut than the 3 buttons.  I also learned that what I consider a traditional style is called a "notch lapel."
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I knew (from the bridal shows) that the shirt was supposed to be off white like my dress so my dress won’t look dingier by comparison.  Otherwise, no frills, just very classic.  I wasn’t sure if Adam wanted a purple handkerchief or something; he didn’t have any requests when I told him I was going, all I got was a, “Good luck.” I’m sure he was just happy I was willing to rent a tux for him so he didn’t have to try to handle it from across the ocean.  And I could guess that he didn't want anything that stands out as being very "different" looking.

So I went in to Classic Tuxedos find out what this “deal” was.  I was prepared for this to be another sale masked as a prize, but learned that I had actually won one rental for free, plus the rest of the tuxedo rentals were 50% off.

Score!

The next hurdle was the fact that I didn’t have a date yet.  But the guy said that was perfectly fine!  Of course he wanted to put a date into the computer, but I just need to call to move it once we set the date.

My next worry was getting the right sizes and fits.  The guy said that they could go to any tailor in the U.S. get fitted, and send in the sizes, so if they don’t live nearby, no problem.

“Except they live in England.”  I waited for him to balk.

“Oh wow.  Okay, no problem, you can convert the sizes and send them in…”

No date no problem, overseas no problem, and over half off.  I LIKE this guy.

He helped me choose a style once I told him about the buttons and lapel and the fact that it’s going to be in the summer, he helped me choose a style.  It’s an AMAZING style.  As much as I love my wedding dress, I think Adam might end up showing me up on our wedding day.
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I picked out shoes (I didn’t know shoes, shirt, socks, vest, and tie were all going to come included at Classic Tuxedos!)  I learned that the groom’s tie and vest would be ivory and the others would be black.  That was fine with me.  The only other thing that I was unsure about was the style of tie.  He confirmed the same thing as a coworker told me: bow ties are out.  That’s fine with me.  But he told me, “Since your fiancé is European, you might want to go with an ascot.  That’s more the done thing over there.”  I took a look, and I just wasn’t that impressed.  Since he said I could change anything as long as it was three months before the wedding, I went with regular ties.  Later when I asked Adam what he prefers, he told me he didn’t know what an ascot was.  I guess it’s not that common in Europe then!

So that was another big CHECK on the bridal to do list.  It feels a little weird doing everything in the “wrong” order.  I got the dress, then rented tuxedos, and then later on we’ll set a date.  It sounds crazy, but I just get scared that once Adam DOES get a visa, we’ll be pressed for time.  So why NOT get our attire now?  Better to do it way in advance than to scramble and have to compromise on style and cost if I leave it until later.

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Photos courtesy of:
Aaron                                      kent wang                      jscatty                 ben + sam
PetroleumJellife            louis ian riley             jscatty

Wedding Dress Shopping: Not the Bonding Experience They Show You in the Movies

Not everything about my wedding dress shopping experience was positive.  Though I did feel that high people talk about when it comes to finding “THE dress,” there was something else going on with mom. 

Mom was so quiet that I wondered if she was just out of her element.  Though I was looking for clearance wedding dresses, she paid $15 at a department store for the dress she wore for her wedding, so this was just all foreign to her.  But I expected her to be making embarrassing jokes and laughing too loudly at them, not staying quiet.  I felt a little  disappointed, because I had this vision of us tearing up at the sight of me in a wedding dress...haha SO cheesy, I know, but, well, yeah.  At the very least I thought going to a wedding gown store with her and trying them on would be fun, but she was so stony faced that I felt a little uncomfortable, like I could have done this alone for the whole lack of input I was getting. 

Well, I tried to shrug it off because I was still excited, as soon as I put that dress on I was felt, "This is it; this is exactly what I had in mind."  So I figured, "It's not like I’m lost without her advice and she's letting me down, so no use feeling bad here." I'm glad I looked at lots of wedding dresses online before making my first appointment!

So with all that going on in my head, once I was ready to make a deposit they told me the price of the alterations.  That’s when I felt freaked out.  The cost of alterations was going to nearly double the price.

That’s when it hit me.  I asked myself, "Do I really want to spend all this money for a dress I'll wear once?  It's just a dress; I could wear any white dress and the wedding could still go on and it will be totally special."  Mom said just what I knew she'd say: “Well, it’s up to you.”  Yes, obviously; I’m the one paying.  I decided that maybe I won't do alterations through the wedding gown store, I could shop around for a seamstress.  So we put down a deposit and walked out.

And that’s when she finally she told me she had "devastating news." 

I just knew her head was not in it.  

Her news is that they cut her hours in half at work.  And if that's not hard enough to manage, (it's going to be 8 to 12 hours per week) now that she's part time, she's losing her health insurance.  It's illegal to be without health insurance in Massachusetts, and it’ll cost her more than she'll be making each month.  If they laid her off she'd be collecting unemployment and get help with insurance, but since she's still employed, she felt like she was stuck.  
 
So I was upset for both reasons.  I felt cheated about the experience of shopping for a wedding dress with my mom.  I had thought this was going to be a night she and I would always remember fondly, her first born becoming a bride.  I tried to suck it up and be supportive since she suffered in silence while I tried on gowns, and because hers is a much bigger issue than my dress.  I immediately told her that this is a blessing in disguise because it's been clear how much she hates this job; it was killing her and this is going to force her to make a change.  But I knew she was right when she said, "But the economy's bad and I'm old."  It took her nearly a year last time to find a job.  

So I didn’t enjoy our dinner out after that.  I was upset for her, plus I couldn't get the voice in my head to stop saying, "You're paying THAT MUCH for a dress you'll wear ONCE?!"  So by the end of dinner, she made some comment to the effect that I shouldn't have made the deposit.  Instead of saying something I'd regret I excused myself to use the restroom because I felt really overwhelmed. 

Once I calmed down and came back I think she realized that wasn't fair; I'd asked her for advice before I paid and then she told me AFTER the fact that I did the wrong thing.  So she told me what she meant was that SHE wouldn't have paid that much, but I made the right choice.  Everyone in the store said how beautiful that wedding dress was (there were I think 3 other brides plus their entourages) and how beautiful I looked in it, and how she and I have different tastes but we both agreed that was the best dress for me.  So I felt better.  I know she was just stressed when she upset me.  And I knew I found the one I wanted, and I got a good deal, so I didn't have a right to feel upset about tonight.  But I couldn’t really feel happy now either.  I worked on focusing on her worries instead of my wedding dress any more with her.    

Fortunately, when I got back to mom’s house, before I headed home, I found that Adam had stayed up (until after 1 am UK time) to ask me how my dinner out was (I'd left out the part about going to look for wedding dresses when I told him I was visiting her today).  And although he doesn’t like to hear about the wedding planning stuff (he says it’s too soon to plan anything before we can apply for a visa) I couldn’t keep this a secret.  Amazingly, instead of freaking out, he was happy for me!  I told him it was the first store I went to, and it was such an amazing price that I couldn’t pass it up, and he seemed very pleased.  And I felt less disappointed about the stuff with mom.  My groom was happy and so was I. 
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Finding MY DRESS Among the Clearance Wedding Dresses Racks

I looked online at a lot of clearance wedding dresses.  I even watched a little bit of Say Yes to the Dress.  I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted for a wedding dress, so I looked at a lot of photos online for inspiration.

One thing I was pretty sure was that I wanted a V neck wedding dress.  I look best in this style shirt since I’m pretty buxom, and have a comparatively small waist.  But I wasn’t sure what type of skirt I wanted.  Those mermaid and trumpet skirts look so sexy. But as I looked at photos, they only looked good on the skinny models, not on us short curvy girls.  So I decided that a classic A-line would be more flattering on me. 

I started shopping online for clearance wedding dresses.  It's amazing that I found some clearance wedding dresses for under $300!  There was one here that I really liked.  It’s simple, but the cut looks flattering.  Plus it has that bit of filigree embellishments that I love, and will use in the wedding décor.  And you can’t beat the price!  Under $400!  I decided that this would be a terrific back-up dress.  I still wanted to visit a physical Massachusetts wedding gown store David’s Bridal since it’s so close by, and have the experience of trying on several big and pretty white gowns, but I created another folder on my computer, labeled this one “clearance wedding dresses,” and saved this website.  Then I took my favorite Google images of wedding dresses to also put in the folder.

Then one day out of the blue I got an Email from a shop near my mom’s house called “125 Bridal.”   It said that this coming week, right before Thanksgiving, they’d have clearance wedding dresses since they were remodeling their store.  These gowns were going to be 60% off!  That’s a good deal on a small item, but on an item that normally costs over $1000, that was just too good to pass up.

I was nervous because that did not leave me with enough time to shop around at a single Massachusetts wedding gown store first, but I called mom up anyway, booked an appointment, and fought crazy traffic after work for my first bridal appointment.  This wedding planning was suddenly a lot more “real.”  I’ve never needed an appointment to buy something before, other than my house. 

The staff couldn’t be nicer and more understanding when I arrived late.  Mom was trying on Mother of the Bride dresses while she waited.  So after introductions I showed my consultant the inspiration page I’d slapped together in Photoshop the night before with my favorite Google images.  I annotated what I liked on each, what I did not want, and things that I wasn’t sure about.

Likes:

• V neck wedding dress
• A-line
• Straps or capped sleeves
• Fitted waist

Dislikes:

• A bodice that goes straight across
• Sleeveless

Not Sure:

• Material
• Beading or lace bridal gowns
• Ivory or white bridal gown
• wedding dress train
• Halter wedding gowns 

So she encouraged me to go through the rack of clearance wedding dresses with her and pull any of the ones I’d like to try on, and she’d pull dresses that she thought fit my criteria also.

With that finished, she led me to the dressing room.  This was an experience I hoped to never go through again.  Being pampered is nice and all, but being a grown woman and needing another adult to help dress you was not in any way fun.  And the bodice undergarment thing they had me wear under each dress was awful.  First of all, it’s used: ew.  Second, though I got a slip to wear, it was just not a pretty sight standing there in the two garments.  I knew I wasn’t at my fittest at that point, but I’d never looked dumpier as I did in that getup.  And third, she let me know that wedding dresses run small.  So looking at the tag, it felt like I’d put on 10 pounds.  And sure enough, the dresses off the rack felt VERY snug; some didn’t zip up all the way.  All the while the skinny young consultant was cheerfully patronizing, saying “oh that can be altered, don’t worry.”  I thought trying on wedding dresses was going to be an experience that made me feel like a princess?  It was just the opposite.

Until I tried on the second dress.

That’s when I felt like Adam’s princess bride.

Now, this isn't me or the actual dress since it would be bad luck for Adam to see!  But it's pretty close :)

I tried on a few (/several) other clearance wedding dresses just to compare the waist, the bead work, how a halter wedding gown looked compared to a v-neck, and it was all a lot more fun now, because I knew I found the dress for me.  Even the price was amazing; not much more than the one I saw online.  But it was clearly a better quality gown.  It has a more subtle, elegant design to the bead work, the material is more substantial looking, and it even has a train, which I never dared to dream about.  I was so amazingly proud of my clearance wedding dress that looked like something out of a magazine.  I didn’t even care that I didn’t get to compare with a Massachusetts wedding gown store.

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Photos courtesy of:

tokuriki                              Jakob Montrasio              avlxyz
timothyhorrigan        DeusXFlorida                    DeusXFlorida
Yiqun Ding                      e.t                                                blacksapphire
e.t                                            epSos.de                                  Ryan Smith Photography
spettacolopuro             dunikowski                          dunikowski
killrbeez                           corey ann                               jakob montrasio
pashmina                       flippinyank                          L8o

tineyho
 

New England Bridal Show Expo: Portsmouth, NH Ethan Allen

I was a little wary of a bridal show expo hosted at a furniture store instead of a restaurant because I figured the food wouldn’t be as good.  But when I walked in, it was actually very pretty.

There wasn't LOTS of food at this bridal trade show, but what they did have was very good.  They had clam chowder, which I like.  And lobster bisque.  I never had it before; it a little looked gross to me (pureed lobster in a cream base...eek.)  But it was DELICIOUS.  So creamy, with a buttery lobster flavor.  I wouldn’t mind having that at my wedding reception!  It was so rich that even though we just got these tiny little samples of it, that was enough (at first; I had to get seconds after the next hour, haha).  There were wedding cakes too, and I tried 5 of them, haha.  One place at the bridal trade show was just so so, but the other place had a very unique (and good) carrot cake, and a REALLY rich chocolate wedding cake.

There were no raffles at this bridal trade show (well, I'm sure I'll "win" stuff through email, hah) but I did get a present a pretty nice gift!  When Adam visits at Christmastime we can use them for New Year’s.

We can use them to have our champagne on New Year's!

As we were looking through some sample wedding albums, a photographer was chatting with us.  Somehow my engagement photos came up, and he asked where we had them done, so I said England, and he said, "Oh, so no one I know!"  Heh.  He asked where and actually had heard of Kettering (or lied and pretended to hah).  He asked why we got them in England, and asked if I was "bi-coastal" or something, and I said, "because my fiancé lives in England."

Now, usually at this point, the pat answer from vendors at a bridal show expo is, "Oh, wow."  Or, “That's cool," or something happy and positive, smiling cause the customer is always right and needs to be patronized or whatever.  Instead he said, "Oh!  That SUCKS."  

Hahaha!  I LOVED that!  I said, "It DOES suck!"  Haha  I want Adam to BE HERE during our engagement but I can’t have that.  Instead I’m spending my engagement with these same vendors over and over at each bridal show expo.  So it felt good to just have someone voice that, instead of me smiling and pretending like it's all rainbows when I just really miss Adam.  It validated that it’s okay and normal to feel lonely without him here with me. 

Ethan Allen: Portsmouth, New Hampshire

I was a little wary of a bridal show expo hosted at a furniture store instead of a restaurant because I figured the food wouldn’t be as good.  But when I walked in, it was actually very pretty.

There wasn't LOTS of food at this bridal show expo, but what they did have was very good.  They had clam chowder, which I like.  And lobster bisque.  I never had it before; it a little looked gross to me (pureed lobster in a cream base...eek.)  But it was DELICIOUS.  So creamy, with a buttery lobster flavor.  I wouldn’t mind having that at my wedding reception!  It was so rich that even though we just got these tiny little samples of it, that was enough (at first; I had to get seconds after the next hour, haha).  There were wedding cakes too, and I tried 5 of them, haha.  One place at the bridal trade show was just so so, but the other place had a very unique (and good) carrot cake, and a REALLY rich chocolate wedding cake.

There were no raffles at this bridal trade show (well, I'm sure I'll "win" stuff through email, hah) but I did get a present a pretty nice gift!  When Adam visits at Christmastime we can use them for New Year’s.  We can use them to have our champagne on New Year's!

As we were looking through some sample wedding albums, a photographer was chatting with us.  Somehow my engagement photos came up, and he asked where we had them done, so I said England, and he said, "Oh, so no one I know!"  Heh.  He asked where and actually had heard of Kettering (or lied and pretended to hah).  He asked why we got them in England, and asked if I was "bi-coastal" or something, and I said, "because my fiancé lives in England."

Now, usually at this point, the pat answer from vendors at a bridal show expo is, "Oh, wow."  Or, “That's cool," or something happy and positive, smiling cause the customer is always right and needs to be patronized or whatever.  Instead he said, "Oh!  That SUCKS."

Hahaha!  I LOVED that!  I said, "It DOES suck!"  Haha  I want Adam to BE HERE during our engagement but I can’t have that.  Instead I’m spending my engagement with these same vendors over and over at each bridal show expo.  So it felt good to just have someone voice that, instead of me smiling and pretending like it's all rainbows when I just really miss Adam.  It validated that it’s okay and normal to feel lonely without him here with me.

Sizing up a Traditional Three Tier Wedding Cake

Besides the hors d’ourves, the next best thing at the bridal shows are the wedding cakes.  I’m not sure exactly what sort of decorations or colors I want, but I AM sure I want a traditional, round, three tier wedding cake for my wedding.  I want my wedding to have lots of traditional elements: fancy white dress, classical music, and to me, nothing says classic wedding like a three tier wedding cake.  So I was excited to find that vendors brought samples of their gourmet cakes to try. 

Spinellis had several gourmet cakes on display.  I wasn’t sure what look I really wanted though.  I thought of my color palette, with the orange, pink, and purple.  Should I get flowers on it?  That does seem to be the trend with gourmet cakes for weddings, it seems.  There was a very pretty three tier wedding cake with orchids cascading down.  I do love orchids.  But I feel like those bold colors I plan for my color scheme are too much of a contrast with the white.  I would prefer the intricate filigree to be the center of attention on the cake.  For me, I think that I want to look across the reception and see my white three tier wedding cake; not the colors, just the silhouette.  I want the close up photos of it to show the elegant filigree decorating it, but I don’t want to see that from far away.  Just nice and subtle.

So I tried the different gourmet cakes at Spinellis.  Instead of going for the chocolate (as usual) I thought the white cake with raspberry mousse frosting.  It really was nice and light with whipped cream mixed in.  It’s no wonder people rave about their cakes at work.  Could do with some sliced strawberries in the center though!  Mom liked the chocolate too, I just figured I’d try the white cake since that’s Adam’s go-to flavor for special events. 

Since Spinellis was my first ever bridal show, I didn’t know what sort of questions to even ask at that point.  After the show some questions started popping up in my mind.  For one thing, if I’m only going to have less than 20 guests, won’t a three tier wedding cake be WAY too big!?  I felt so down about this; I had my heart set on that silhouette.  I started to feel bad about having a small wedding, and wondered what other things I’d end up not being able to do up as grand as I envisioned.

However a month or so later I went to a second bridal show in Haverhill, at the Bradford Country club.  This wasn’t as fun; there was less food, and they stuck us in a tent on a FREEZING night.  I didn’t realize it was going to be outdoors so I didn’t dress for it.  But the one thing that made up for this place was the gourmet cakes that we got to sample.  This one was even better than Spinellis.  It was moist and the frosting was not too sugary.  It was nice and creamy but light.  They were beautiful too, so I asked if they could make a three tier wedding cake for 20 guests, and they said yes!  THAT was a load off my mind.  The dream of my three tier wedding cake was ON!

When I got home that night I looked around online to see what the average price of a wedding cake costs.  It appears that the average price for gourmet cakes is $5 or $6 per slice.  That doesn’t seem too bad, given the importance and design of it.  I saved the information from the baker I enjoyed, but I’ll still shop around.
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Afroswede          Cherry Pi           Frostnova     
Samdogs             Caribou               Daveynin
Soa2002              Donnaphoto     Amy the Nurse
Basykes              Phil_g                   Karla Cakes