New England Bridal Show Expo: Bradford Country Club

This New England bridal show expo was not quite as fun as Spinellis.  Oh sure, there was some free food (cheese, veggies and fruit) and the strawberry champagne punch was great.  But the problem I had was the locale.  See, I grew up not far from the Bradford Country Club.  I always envisioned it as a really fancy place, and always wondered what it was like.  So I was excited to get to check the place out.  Mom and I pulled up on to this bridal show expo this chilly October evening, head along the path, and came to…THE TENT.  We didn’t even get to see inside: the whole event took place out in the freezing cold tent.  We weren’t dressed for an outdoor event either.

This bridal trade show event was kind of a blur anyway.  I had been planning to invite my sister along.  I haven’t asked her to be my maid of honor yet, so I thought she might get into the spirit of wedding stuff if she was being fed.  Unfortunately, she was in a car accident (got rear ended.  Twice).  The 3 car pile up was bad enough to make the news.  She was walking around, but in a lot of pain.  But instead of getting her warmed up to the idea, I almost didn’t go because of her.  I felt weird going and having fun after I learned about her and mom spending the afternoon at the hospital.  But they both said there was no point to canceling the trip to the New England bridal show expo; she just needed to go to bed.

So we did the typical bridal trade show stuff like literature collecting from the vendors, tasting some cakes, (found one AMAZING cake) ran into a friend from high school (working the event) and then watched the presentation done by the DJs.  This portion of the bridal show expo felt more like a real wedding reception, which was somewhat of an improvement.  They led people in line dances and cheesy games, and mom had to leave right before the raffles started, but I stayed and froze like a sucker.  I didn't win any raffles tonight, which figures; because there were prizes unlike those at the previous bridal trade show where you get $100 off if you book with them tonight.  Those didn’t help me since I haven’t set a date yet, but these were prizes I could actually have, like gift baskets and cash.  Oh well.  The whole point of going to these things is that I get to marry Adam, so I win every time.  I dropped of some chocolates I got there at mom’s house for my sister, and head home.
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Photos courtesy of:
Karen 2873
Kristin a (Meringue Bake Shop)
The People’s Tribune
clevercupcakes

Looking for a String Quartet for Wedding Music

For my wedding I want classical music.  Maybe a harp, maybe a piano, or even a string quartet for wedding music.  I’d read on a wedding website a while back that to ensure that people don’t expect or miss the dancing, the music being played should be “undanceable.”  So after the terrible DJs at the last bridal show, I had a new found commitment to research classical Massachusetts wedding bands for my wedding.

I started Googling “string quartet for wedding,” “Massachusetts wedding bands,” and “wedding orchestra.”  Most of the websites had music samples available, so I started a word document called “Wedding orchestra” to paste addresses in to listen to later.  Then I created a folder (also titled “wedding orchestra”) for the document as well as samples that I was able to download to listen to later. 

Some of the musicians I listened to included:

• http://www.newenglandharp.com/wedding-music.htm a harpist.  Hey, when you think of wedding ceremony music, you think light, romantic, angelic, and all those things fit in with a harp.  But when I listened to it, it was a little too plain.  I know I’m just having a small backyard wedding, but I’d like a richer wedding orchestra type sound, I think.
• http://www.lizary.net/listen.htm was the next one I heard, which also included a harp, and it did have a richer sound.  It helped that she had a violinist or two playing with her. 
• http://twoofusduo.com/sonare/repertoire.html was another duo, this time with a flute.  I’ve never been fond of flutes, and this didn’t change my mind.  The flutist sounded very breathy.  Although outside from a slight distance that probably wouldn’t be noticeable; I don’t think we’ll have/need amplification.
• www.intermezzoplayers.com played Pachelbel so beautifully that it made me cry.  They're one of the best wedding orchestra groups that I came across, but was out of our price range for 2 hours.

Most Massachusetts wedding bands websites don’t have a price list.  But from what I saw, hiring a string quartet for wedding music was pricier than a trio (obviously) and having a trio for 3 hours costs right around $1,000.  Hmm.  The costs of a wedding sure do add up FAST.  And although it would be nice to have a wedding orchestra sound, would it be overkill to have 3 musicians for such a small wedding?  It would feel awfully impersonal if the vendors started outnumbering the guest list.  So finally I researched guitars for weddings.  After all, the wedding episode on “How I Met Your Mother” was awfully sweet, with the guitarist playing at the intimate outdoor ceremony.  Sure enough, the cost was closer to $700.  And although the sound isn’t quite as rich as a string quartet for wedding music, it was still pretty nice.

I guess the question I really need to think about is what can I live with more easily.  Having everything I want in my wedding because I’m only doing it once, or spending a ton on one day.  No matter which way I decide, I could end up with wedding day regret, I know.  So for now I’ll just keep price hunting for a trio or string quartet for wedding music and do a bit of soul searching before we actually set a date.
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Photos courtesy of:

Nrkbeta             Hans s
Stringbot           Thenobel1
Beige Alert        Spbutterworth

Prefeitura de Olinda
Jofus JoeTheDough

Checking out Massachusetts Wedding Photographers at the BE Entertainment Expo

I went to another bridal show to check out Massachusetts wedding photographers, and this wedding expo was...interesting.  It was very different from Spinellis.  (Yes, Spinellis will be the bridal show I will hereby gauge all other bridal shows by).  There were way fewer people here, and not as much food (though the cheese and wine was VERY good).  And though I thought it was going to just feature Massachusetts wedding photographers, the company has DJs as well.

So mom and I sat through this DJ’s hour long presentation, when we just wanted to see the wedding albums done by the different Massachusetts wedding photographers.  They played music, did the whole, "How are you all feeling tonight?"  (Which wore thin by the time the 5th guy asked as he came up to introduce himself). And then they did lame stuff getting people up to dance.  UGH.  I told mom after that I didn't even want a DJ, I want a musician(s) playing classical music at my wedding.  She said "Oh thank god, because those guys were terrible."  Haha, I didn't feel like I was a good judge since it's just so not my scene, but there you go. 

The only good that came of the spectacle was when I won a raffle!  Luckily it wasn’t for the DJs, it was for any one of the Massachusetts wedding photographers present.  The trouble was they said I had to book THAT NIGHT, so of course that was out since I can’t set a wedding date yet.  Made me feel a little down that since the visa application process is so at the mercy of the government that I can’t even take advantage of deals by booking early.  But again, it wouldn’t have wanted to be pressured into booking the first Massachusetts wedding photographers company I saw; I need to see what’s out there in terms of price and talent.  It was a shame though, because it was a good prize: a $150 "parents" wedding album.  Oh well. 

Once the silly program was over it was REALLY interesting seeing the photos/albums done by different photographers.  One of the Massachusetts wedding photographers albums I looked at was, well, lousy.  Lots of blurry photos.  I guess some think that’s artistic, but I think wedding photos can be nice and crisp and still artsy, but blurry photos look like you don’t know how to keep your camera still.  Talking to the photographer was awkward too, because I didn't know what to ask. He asked, "Do you like candids or posed photos?"  Uhhh?  I never thought about that.  I just picked one, (apparently the wrong one) because he said, "Well that can get boring after a while" and turned around to talk to someone else instead!

I didn’t realize photographers had different “specialties;” I thought they take some photos of the couple, some of the family standing in front of somewhere pretty, pictures of the ceremony, and pictures at the reception.  So basically I expect that the photographer will do both.  Is that too much to ask?  Besides, it might be boring to HIM since he's shot (presumably) dozens or hundreds of weddings, but this is going to be my one and only.  I want all the classic shots, and if that means boring to the rest of the world, so be it.  I'll cherish it always.

Another of the Massachusetts wedding photographers were equally as rude to me, but for a completely different reason.  He asked me when my wedding is, and when I told him August 15 2011, he said, “Oh,” and just turned around to talk to someone else.  Again, this was NOT a really big bridal show, so while I understand that they want to get as many clients as possible, I was pretty shocked that they’d ignore me just because I’m looking so far in advance!

The next Massachusetts wedding photographers album I looked at was really strange.   Few, if any, of his photos were straight on.  And to make things even more strange, he seemed to be overly into the Photoshopping.  He used this effect, like “bloat” or something, so that the walls seemed to curve, and it just looked trippy.  And others had the lighting exaggerated so it looked like a rainbow was vaporizing in the forefront.  Just awful. 

I was about to give up.  The photos Adam and I took on our trips through England were better than these; maybe I’d be happier with an amateur taking pictures at my wedding.  When finally, I looked through one of the Massachusetts wedding photographers album and it was EXCELLENT.  He clearly had a nice sense of balance and composition.  None of them were blurry.  I told him that his were the best photos I’d seen, and he was very nice and outgoing.  He told me that he isn’t obtrusive at the reception, but he will ask someone to move a beer out of the way if he thinks it will improve the shot.  That’s the guy I want.  He’s going to make my wedding photos look good.  I got a price list and I'll keep his name, but I still plan shop around at these bridal expos to see equally talented Massachusetts wedding photographers for cheaper.

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Photos courtesy of:
Deusxflorida                                                                Joanna8555               Wili_hybrid
Wedding Photography by Jon Day             Hotmeteor                    W C Lybbert
Wedding Photography by Jon Day             Tobyotter                      W C Lybbert
Wedding Photography by Jon Day             Charles Chan            W C Lybbert
Wedding Photography by Jon Day             Jerry Liu                       W C Lybbert
Joanna8555                                                                 Yummiec00kies        

Researching Homes for a Backyard Wedding Reception

I was getting closer to deciding on the perfect location to marry Adam.  I had realized a vacation home would be my best bet for a backyard wedding reception and ceremony.  Since I wanted an outdoor small wedding, with fewer than 20 people, this seemed like something I could make elegant and exactly to my tastes, and it would be economical to have Adam's family stay there for a week.  So it was time to start looking at vacation homes online.  I used several websites in my search:   www.vacationrentals.com, www.vrbo.com, and www.homeaway.com. and I mostly stuck with the following criteria:

• 3+ bedrooms
• Seaside community
• Scenic outdoors
• Good looking indoors

I figured I needed at least 3 bedrooms to accommodate Adam’s family.  A fourth bedroom wouldn’t hurt, in case his best friend is able to make the journey from England to Massachusetts for us.  And if the place is far enough from my condo, a fifth bedroom would be good so we could stay overnight.

At first I started looking at some seaside communities, because I’d love to have a backyard wedding reception near a beach for photos.  I didn’t want to traipse through sand during the ceremony, but after might be nice.  So I started looking at houses on Cape Cod with space for an outdoor small wedding, and worked my way up.  I looked in Plymoth, Chatham and Dennis, which were all beautiful. 

Then mom told me that Cape Cod would be WAY too far for me.  She knows I hate driving, so I needed something closer.  I looked in Salem, but there’s pretty much no yards in Salem.  If I wanted a gorgeous historical building Salem would be great, but I couldn’t have a backyard wedding reception there.  I tried Salisbury since that’s closer to her, but the yards all sandy, not gardens.  Newburyport just didn’t have much available.  I looked in Glouster, and finally Rockport.  These places are much closer, and have some pretty nice spaces for an outdoor small wedding.

As I looked at dozens (/hundreds?) of houses, I made notes on the price, bedrooms, and the look.  Though a scenic outdoor space for the backyard wedding reception is the most important thing for me, at this point I still wasn’t sure exactly what my priority was for the outdoors: Ocean? Garden? Lake? Trees? Lawn? Architecture/exterior paint color?  I made haphazard notes on all those things.  I guess in a way it’s good: by not having my heart set on one thing, maybe I’ll be happy with whatever?  But in a way it’s not good, because of course deep down I want it ALL.  But for now, I’m just gathering information and seeing what’s out there for what price point.  For now, looking at all these pretty places and getting a vision for my outdoor small wedding is fun.

Now the INSIDE is so much easier to decide on.  Some of these places are so rustic that they were a definite no.  No offense to the brides who are going that route: I understand that’s very big this season, it’s just not what I’m looking for.  Wood paneled walls, floors, and ceilings don’t say elegant to me, and I’m going for elegant.  I don’t like the typical blue and white interior either.  That’s very relaxing, and would fit a beach theme wedding I know, but I like the neutrals and warm colors instead.  So all in all, I’m not sure yet what I want for my backyard wedding reception, but I sure know what I DON’T want.   
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Ideas for Wedding Reception Activities

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Not only was I unsure of a wedding venue, I wasn’t sure what I wanted for a reception.  I thought of a wedding reception as a dinner followed by dancing.  I don’t really like dances so much; I mean, I’d love to slow dance with Adam, but after that, it would be hours of loud music.  Adam likes dancing even less.  And because it’s a small wedding, I know most of the people invited are unattached, so we’d be the only ones slow dancing.  No, this wouldn’t work.  I needed ideas for other wedding reception activities. 

So I spent some time Googling around for wedding reception activities instead of dancing.  I searched for: “wedding reception no dancing.”  And I actually found ideas on lots of different wedding websites that I noted as alternatives to dinner + dancing = reception: 

Rejects from various wedding websites:

• Boat: Good chance Adam and I will already be queasy with nerves, no sense adding seasickness to the mix
• Clam bake: Too casual
• Barbeque: Too casual.  Also, barbeque sauce + expensive white gown?  I think not.

My kind of wedding reception activities:

• Brunch
• Croquet, bocce ball, badminton or horseshoes
• Lunch at a nice restaurant with a good view
• Cards and board games
• Swimming/hot tub

That’s IT!  All these wedding reception activities are really homey.  Not MY home, not mom’s home, but a vacation home could have any of these amenities!  I think this is the way to go!  We could get married outside, and then have people all over the house for the reception instead of all in the same room with us.  I could decorate prior, and set up activities.  I could have maps with the locations of each of the wedding reception activities for the guests.  I’d set up the brunch so they get the maps at beginning of the table.  It would all be homey and comfortable.  No driving from one thing to the other.  Maybe we could even have some computer games in one room, like Wii bowling.  Cape Cod would have really nice ocean side vacation homes.  We could have our honeymoon in the same house or take a limo to nearby hotel.  If I rent it for the week I’ll have time to set up whatever I want, or 2 days might be more economical.  Things were really falling into place!

Then I saw another tidbit on one of the wedding websites I found.  Someone mentioned that the entertainment should be “undanceable.”  So instead of hiring a band, have instruments, such as a string quartet.

YES! 

Adam and I both love classical music, and that would make a perfect backdrop to all the low key wedding reception activities going on!

Then I had a third revelation:  Adam’s family can stay in the house instead of a hotel!  They should come the week before so I can entertain them!  Then we can have a rehearsal dinner, they can enjoy the house for a few days, then they leave the day after the wedding since Adam and I will go on honeymoon.  My mom and brother could get them to the airport, probably.  Wow, it would be amazing to be able to return the hospitality that his family gave me when Adam first met, and the following summer.  Cooking for them in a beautiful house would be so much nicer than having them stuck in hotel rooms for the duration.  This would be cozier and probably more economical than renting an over-sized function hall for a day.

This created a lot of questions in my mind, though. 

• Should I get en extra bedroom so I could stay there with them, or drive in every day? 
• Would his parents be comfortable staying in the same house since they’re fairly recently divorced?
• Where would they like to visit once they’re here?
• How does the breaking down of the wedding/cleanup happen?  Do I hire a wedding coordinator just for that even if I do all the booking and designing myself?
• What “stuff” do I need since this isn’t the typical all inclusive wedding venue?

I really hope I’m not setting myself up for more stress with this idea, because it really does seem perfect for what I need.

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Photos courtesy of:
let ideas compete
Discount Vacation Rentals Online
nsanch
Sugar Sweet Sunshine
PrincessAshley
PrincessAshley
Corey Ann
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Considering Different Weddings Venues in Massachusetts

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At first I wasn’t really sure what sort of wedding I wanted. I know I want the white dress, the white cake, and the groom to be Adam.  But otherwise…not sure.  I wasn’t sure what’s out there in terms of small wedding venues in Massachusetts.  My mom and coworkers tried to talk me into getting married in England, so they’d have an excuse to visit.  But as beautiful as the countryside where Adam’s from is, there were two big reasons why I don’t think that’s best.  The first is that I don’t see how I could feasibly plan it.  I wouldn’t be able to see anything firsthand, or taste the food or cakes.  And dealing with all the currency conversion and exchange rates would make everything way more expensive.  But also I really want to stick with wedding venues in Massachusetts because I want Adam’s family to be able to come here and see Adam’s new home, and a little bit of the area where he’ll be living.

So once we decided on which country to get married in, I started to think about what sort of venue I wanted.  I didn’t want a church wedding because I’m just not a church goer and wouldn’t feel comfortable in one.  Since I want a small wedding venue for less than 20 guests, I wasn’t sure I wanted it in a huge reception hall like Spinellis, as beautiful as it is in there.  Other than a friend from college who did both of those things for her ceremony and reception, my only other wedding experience was outdoors.  I was just a kid, but I remember some uncle had their wedding in the backyard.  We all stood and watched the ceremony.  I don’t remember anything else.  Just that it was a nice warm sunny day.  I kind of like that idea.  I started thinking about different outdoor wedding venues in Massachusetts.

Someone at work had a beach wedding.  Nice sunny day, relaxing waves, salty air, and golden sand?  I do like that.  I’m certain there’s plenty of wedding venues in Massachusetts that are on the ocean.  But as much as I love the beach, I love to be in my bathing suit on the beach.  I didn’t think I’d like to be in an elegant wedding gown in the sand.  Plus seeing as how I used to work at the beach as a lifeguard, I decided I didn’t want to go that route for a wedding venue.  No, the backyard idea was more appealing for a small wedding venue.

The backyard I knew when I was a child would have been kind of pretty.  There was a nice lawn, with apple trees in the back, and tiger lilies all along the house.  Not bad.  The problem is, the trees are gone and a house was built on top of them.  There’s a lot LESS yard now than there was, since “our backyard” was actually the neighbor’s, she just let us play on it.  And she sold it.  So that wasn’t an option.  And my condo has no yard at all.

Mom told me that she got married in a park, not far from where I live.  That did sound very nice and pretty, but public.  No, I’d really rather a private, intimate ceremony at a small wedding venue without people gawking at us.  I knew Adam would like that even less, so I didn’t even ask.  No, I needed to give this some thought.  It needs to be small, but elegant.  But I just don’t know the first place to look for wedding venues in Massachusetts that are small enough to accommodate just immediate family and close friends.

Without a venue, it’s kind of hard to imagine what my wedding is going to look like.  Here I thought just finding Mr. Right is the hard part, hah.  Again, I decided it’s best not to get my hopes up envisioning something before I know how to make it a reality.  Maybe the bridal shows I register for will feature a few different wedding venues in Massachusetts. 
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Photo courtesy of:

Lincolnian (Brian)

Bridal Trade Show: Spinellis

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Since we’re going to be at the mercy of immigration when it comes to planning a wedding, and due to a personal family situation we can’t start that process yet, Adam has said it’s too early to start planning a wedding.

And out of respect for his wishes, I don’t let on that it’s all I think about in my spare time.

So being a total noob when it comes to planning a wedding, I started Googling around.  First I looked up florists.  Yup.  Got a list of florists in Massachusetts.  Um.  Okay, I guess I try cakes now.  Right, these places make cakes.  Great.  I didn’t have much direction at this point.  And by the way, florists and wedding cake bakeries don’t put prices on their website just to make things more difficult.  But as I was clicking around hoping for pictures or something to feed my wedding-lust, I came upon Spinellis website.  Spinellis is a restaurant not too far from where I work, and the teachers and parents rave about their cakes, so I looked at their site, and found a whole wedding section.  And then, at the top of the page, I saw a banner saying “click here to register for the New England Bridal Show.”

Oooh.

So I did, and I learned there are actually THREE bridal shows hosted by New England Bride, and one of those was near me too.  And they are free.  And I can bring a guest.  So I put +1 and called mom and she said she’d love to go.

Now, I had been to a business expo before.  So I figured similarly, at a bridal trade show that there would be tables, and you’d get a bag, and people at the tables would give you pamphlets and maybe a piece of candy or pen or whatever.  And they basically had a room just like that.  Only pretty and wedding-y.

What I was NOT prepared for at my first bridal trade show was the other room.  There were no vendors in there.  Just FOOD.  So much food!  A waiter was walking around with glasses of champagne with a strawberry on the rim.  Followed by more waiters, with all sorts of little hors d’oeuvres.  And then there was a carving station, where we could try the chicken saltimbocca.  And the pasta station with a tomato sauce and one with a cream sauce.  And the samples of wedding cake.  And the dessert buffet that took up about 4 tables.  I could not believe this.  Registration for the bridal trade show was free, and all this food was just free for the taking?  We had SO much fun. 

Eventually we DID go to the other room to talk to the vendors.  The other surprise for the evening was we were given a sheet of stickers with my contact information on it, and as we went to each table there were raffle tickets to stick them on.  I didn’t win anything, but I was impressed with the system the New England bridal show used because I didn’t have to write my name 50 times.  It was a good setup.  And I am well aware that the point of these is for vendors to send me a ton of their junk mail, at least I gave a rarely used Email address to cut down on some of it. 

So I collected brochures, pamphlets and cards, smiled and nodded politely at the vendors.  After all, I had no idea what I was doing.  So while they had hundreds of other girls to introduce themselves to, I had a buffet line to get back to. 
 

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Photo courtesy of:
Emery Co Photo

Choosing August Wedding Flowers

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Choosing August wedding flowers was more fun than I thought it was going to be.  When I was younger, I used to hate flowers.  First of all, I had horrible allergies, so when I’d walk into a room and get a whiff I’d hold my breath and duck out in fear of triggering the watery eyes and wheezing from the pollen.  Second, since they die, I thought that was a TERRIBLE gift for a romantic relationship.  “My love for you is like this rose.  It’ll last a week tops, even if you care for it properly.”  I never thought I’d care so much about which were the best wedding flowers.

But here I am, caring.

With my color palette in mind, I first Googled “August wedding flowers.”  I wanted to see what flowers were in season in August, because I heard you can get the best wedding flowers prices when you get them in season.  Which makes sense.  I started saving those pictures in a folder on my computer called “wedding.”  There were several different August wedding flowers I liked, fortunately.  There were purple Gladiolus and red Tuberose, neither of which I’d heard of, but they looked nice, and came in the right colors.

But for me, the best wedding flowers I saw were the lilies.  Not the trendy calla lilies that are so popular this year (though they are nice too).  I like the big huge blossoms that look like stars, in orange, or even deep pink.  I actually saw one bridal bouquet of nothing but deep pink lilies.  No other flowers, no greenery, no Queen Anne’s lace, no frills.  Just a handful of star-flowers.  That simple bouquet of deep pink lilies is one of my favorite images of August wedding flowers.  I saved lots of others, and even some fall arrangements just in case I have a change of heart (or date!)

Once I knew which singular flowers were good for an August wedding in New England, I started looking at wholesale online florists for ideas on how bouquets are created.  I thought about how these flowers would look together as a whole composition.  The lilies could be orange or pinkish-red.  The tuberose was a nice red color, and the Gladiolus come in purple.  I think these were the best wedding flowers for me because they were all different enough shapes that they'd look good together in a bouquet, I thought.  So I drew a sketch to see.

Yeah, that could work!
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Photos courtesy of:
James Jordan    Corey Leopold
Galif548             KaCey97007
Wolfpix              Audreyjm529 
The1pony          Faeparsons
The Gifted Photographer
Barbara L. Hanson
Galif548           J Wynia    

Choosing Colors for a Wedding

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One of the first things I thought about after Adam proposed was a wedding color scheme.  I love looking at color schemes.  If things went just a little bit differently in my life, I think I’d have pursued a career in interior design instead of teaching.  So I was excited to start choosing colors for a wedding.

My first love when it comes to color schemes is actually fall colors.  I love the warm colors:  red, burnt orange, all shades of brown from beige to chocolate to clay.  I love gold and warm greens like sage.  All those colors are in my home, and they make me feel comfortable.

I just had 3 small problems: 

1. I want a wedding during summer vacation.
2. Adam loves purple.
3. I don’t like fall colors next to white.

Hmm.

First I tried to think of how I could incorporate red, brown, and orange into my theme and end up with it still looking like August wedding colors.

But it seemed purple would look out of place in that color palette.  I decided that if I was going to use Adam’s favorite color (and I wanted to do that for him) then I should pick ONE color I wanted with it, and the third (or more) color would influence the seasonal feeling of the color palette.  I'd just have to make sure that third color didn't clash with the other two and was popular for August wedding colors.  So I looked around online at the best wedding colors for some inspiration.

 
I decided that above all, I wanted orange, since it's more cheerful and less cliche than pink. Plus there were plenty of orange flowers in the photos of August wedding colors I found.  Now, at first I felt scared, because orange and purple sound like clown colors.  But I thought since both colors have some red in them, my third color could tone down the contrast if it was a variation of red.  Since deep rose red (as much as I like that color) was more for winter winter weddings than for August wedding colors, I decided on a deep coral instead.  The three colors together are very vibrant, but don’t overpower each other so they’ll be elegant.  The orange will make it feel warm, but the vibrant colors are more summery, not too fall like.  And I could use gold or champagne with chocolate brown as a neutral. 

 

Yes, I think with the right flowers, these would make nice wedding colors for summer.  

 

 

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Photos courtesy of: 
Elev8studio                       Ellev8studeio           linh.ngan

Berriehol                          Arpana Sanjay           Russelljsmith

Egor.gribanov                    Egor.gribanov           Stereogab

Joanna8555                       Berriehol                 Paul L. Nettles

Ewen and donabel              Berriehol                 Tracy Hunter     

Caitlinscottphototgraphy     Bah humbug            Tracy Hunter    

Sweet Clementine              Emilie raguso           Stereogab       

Dashes Clay                     AMP PHOTO         AMP PHOTO
Elev8studio                      George Jonathan       Emilie raguso
AMP PHOTO                  AMP PHOTO          Emilie raguso 

So Do You Have a Wedding Date Yet?

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Daydreaming about planning a wedding in Massachusetts, checking out wedding sites, and being congratulated on my recent engagement, NEVER gets old.  On the other hand, the question that has bugged me, like, from day one, is, “So do you have a wedding date yet?” 

“Well, no, we haven’t set a date.”

*Sour face*

“Well, he has to apply for a Visa before we set a date, of course.”

“So how long does that take?”

“Well, we don’t know…”

The other thing that bugs me is the fact that we can’t even start the Visa application process, due to some personal family issues.  So hearing, “Do you have a wedding date,” makes me cringe awkwardly every time.  I’m thinking and hoping and wishing and praying for a wedding date in the summer of 2011.  The issues are supposed to be worked out in a year’s time, so we can apply for the Visa, and then I can start booking vendors.  And I really want a wedding date in the summer, since I like outdoor wedding sites, plus as a teacher I have all that time off to get ready, get married, go on a honeymoon, and help Adam get settled into life in America.  Yet Adam doesn’t want me telling people at work a wedding date that in case we have to change it.  Which I totally understand. 

It’s just awkward when people bug you.  Do they think you haven’t thought about it?  Do they think I’m not DYING to set a date?  Don’t you think I’m checking out wedding sites and everything else and getting anxiety over whether things will book up?  If we didn’t want to be married, the whole engagement thing would not have happened, so do they think they’re being cute rushing us?  I feel like telling them, “You’ll be the first to know.”  Sorry mom, I’m calling the busybodies with a wedding date first. 
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Back to Work: My Surprise Engagement

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Of course I had Emailed my mom the day I got engaged.  I wanted her to see the photos of the ring.  But to everyone at work this was a surprise engagement.  And I reveled in the attention that my engagement announcements made.  All the teachers ask each other that first day back, “How was your summer,” or in my case, “How was England?”  So to be able to flash my bling and announce, “Great, I got engaged!” was awesome.  All the happy screams and hugs and congratulations.  It’s a once in a lifetime thing, announcing a surprise engagement.  I had really been looking forward to making my engagement announcements to everyone and seeing their reactions, and they did not disappoint.  And I did not get tired of it at all.  Even when someone said to me 2 months later in November, “Hey, I hear you got engaged?”  (Someone at work who I’m not all that close to, obviously) I did not get tired of saying, “I sure did.”

What was REALLY interesting to me, and ladies, pay attention to this one when your time comes to make your own engagement announcements, is when I revealed my surprise engagement to each person, which people hugged and congratulated me, and which people looked at/grabbed my hand for a good look at the ring (and if they did both, in which order).  As you can guess, the people you’re closest to hug first and gawk later.  So this ring really is a symbol of love in more ways than one.  It’s even a good friendship litmus test.

The people at work chipped in for an engagement present for Adam and I.  They got me a little plaque that says “And they lived happily ever after…” and a plate.  The plaque is just my style, cream with gold script, and it looks PERFECT above one of our engagement photos.  The plate, someone explained to me, is a cake plate.  It says “Celebrate” and has primary colored stars around the lip.  So on the thank you note I wrote I let them know where I hung the plaque that I love, and I told them that Adam is thrilled about the cake plate because now I’ll be obliged to make him cakes.  I got cards too, which was very nice.  It made me wonder though, if I want to do a scrapbook of engagement stuff or what.  I save everything, but I’m just not sure what to do with it. 

And the other thing that really made me smile was my former students did not forget about me on the first day of school.  Four of them (including my 2 favorites) came up to me and asked what my news was, so I got to make engagement announcements to them too.  One boy said “I KNEW it.”  Which surprised me.  And another boy said, “All right Miss Dawn!”  And gave me a fist bump.  Yeah.  And even my NEW crop of students noticed, which surprised me.  It took a couple weeks before they would get so personal, but a few said they thought my ring is pretty.  And one even noticed a card I had on the wall behind my desk that was partially hidden, that said “Congratulations on your engagement,” and she said, “You’re engaged!?”

Again, it never gets old.  I’m not thrilled about having to continue the long distance thing for 2 more years, but having a long engagement has its perks.  Once you’re married very few people say, “Awww, you’re married?!”  I’m sure that will have its own rewards, which I look forward to.  But for now, I’ll just enjoy the journey that is my engagement. 
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Engagement Director’s Cut: Ring Sizing Chart/Jeweler Fail

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This is embarrassing.  So much so that I didn’t even want to put it in my other engagement post.  That one was the happy one.  That one was about the most important parts of our engagement, which was that it was perfectly romantic, we love each other, and we’re committed to spend our lives together.  Only happy things are allowed in that post.

So here’s what I DIDN’T tell you.  And what I tried to hide from Adam (though he was sharp enough to notice, unfortunately).

The ring didn’t fit.

Not even close.

As he slid it on my finger, I immediately knew I was going to need my ring resized, but of course I didn’t care until the next day.  He knew right away too, that it went on way too easily (and this is a man who does not wear jewelry).  I knew he would be disappointed about the loose ring.  After all, he specifically waited until I could go ring shopping with him in order for the professional to determine my finger ring size.  He'd helped me find a ring sizing chart like this one but that had English sizes prior to the visit.  So of COURSE I didn’t blame Adam.  That jeweler, or his people or whatever really dropped the ball when he tried to size my ring.  I later learned it was a size and a half too large. 

I tried to down play the loose ring with Adam to make him feel better.  I just kept telling him how beautiful that it is.  And it is!  I put a Band-Aid around the underside of the band to keep it from slipping right off before I could go have my ring resized, and that helped a lot in terms of feeling like it was secure.  But it didn’t help the fact that it was very uncomfortable against my pinky and middle finger having what felt like a “spacer” there between them.  I’d try to close my hand and feel this gap.  Really hard to not think about, since I WANTED to think about all the good things the ring symbolizes, and to keep looking at it.  Again, the loose ring didn’t put a damper on the day itself, but I’m telling you now readers, stuff happens.  Not everything regarding your engagement will go perfectly because no one is perfect.  If your fiancé doesn’t get your finger ring size, it’s fixable.  You just have to smile and focus on the positive.  Lifelong love!

Attempting to remedy the loose ring problem was not so simple either.  We couldn’t go back to the jeweler to have him size my ring correctly because I was leaving in 2 days.  And even if he did rush it, I didn’t want my last day with my new fiancé to be spent on an errand.  So we’d have to pay to get my ring resized.

Adam wanted me to do it right away.  Always practical.  I on the other hand, wanted to wait until everyone at work had gawked at it for a little while, haha.  It just would not have been the same if my first day back went something like this:

“I’m engaged!”

“Congratulations, that’s awesome!” *looking down at my hand* “Uh…” 

“Oh, the ring didn’t fit.  But I have one.  Really.  I swear.”

And waiting to tell them would have been equally weird, since they know he lives in England.  Going back to work acting like nothing was new for the first week or so and then one day flashing the ring around and announcing my engagement would have been awkward too.  I didn’t want to have to deal with the question of, “What, did he mail you the ring?”

And finally, and might sound like the craziest part, but I think newly engaged women are allowed; I wanted to wait to have my ring resized until my STUDENTS saw the ring too.  Not even my current ones, because I didn’t think they’d really notice.  No, I had hinted about this with my class last year because I just liked them that much.  I told them “Every year, once my students come back in the fall as fifth graders, they don’t say hi to me.  They don’t even look me in the eye.  You guys are great and I’ll miss you so please don’t do that to me.”  They promised not to, and I told them that if they remembered, I would have some surprise news for them the day they got back to school.

So again, I wanted that ring to flash around, even though it meant waiting a week after the teachers reported back before I went and got them to size my ring better.  I didn’t care if it meant wearing a Band-Aid on my loose ring for 2 weeks.  It looked just as pretty, and it wouldn’t fall off.
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Getting Engaged in England: Our Romantic Engagement

.In the summer of 2008, Adam brought me on our first date together to East Carlton Park in England.

In the summer of 2009, Adam brought me on a picnic at East Carlton Park and asked me to marry him.

It really was the best marriage proposal I could have asked for.  We’d planned for months to have a picnic at East Carlton Park.  Last year before we even met one of the first things he wanted to show me on my visit was the park where he used to go with his family.  We had such a nice time there that we wanted to return for a picnic but we just ran out of time.  But this year, we planned our menu months in advance, went food shopping, checked the weather, and secured a ride.

The weather was perfect, and it all looked just as beautiful as last year.  Adam asked me if I wanted to eat first or walk around.  I said we could wander around until we found a nice place for our spread, but he already knew right where he wanted our picnic.  Instead of going over to the busy picnic tables, he guided me to an area with open flat fields, spotted with trees, and a few distant houses.  It was much quieter there.  He let me choose a big pretty tree to sit beside, we spread out the blanket, and dug in.

We packed way too much food.  I mostly focused on the prawn salad, which Adam didn’t even want to try.  Actually, I noticed he wasn’t eating much at all.  I kept encouraging him, after all, we’d planned on the scotch eggs, pork pies and everything for months, but he said he was fine.  We finished off with little chocolate cakes and strawberries:  I fed him one and he fed one to me.  Then he read the journal I was keeping for the trip while I took a few photos.

Once we finished Adam offered to clean up, and had me stay with the blanket since he wanted to sit for a little while before we walked around.  I thought it was odd; we could easily clean up in a little while once we were ready to go.  But it was sweet of him to offer, so I let him go ahead.

As I watched him go, I leaned back, thinking what a perfect day it was with the gentle breeze and the warm sun.  It felt so nice that I just wanted to stay there and drink it all in forever.  So when he got back and sat back down with me, I gave him a hug and kiss and told him that I love him.

“I love you too,” he said, “and that is why…”

Oh my God.

This is it, I’m about to get engaged!

This could not be more a perfect proposal!

Adam pulled a little gold box from his coat from his coat for me to open.  Then he opened the little green box inside to show me the ring and asked, “Will you marry me?”  Of course I said yes and asked him, “Will you put it on me?”  So he did, and finally romantic engagement was official, and it felt amazing.  The start of a new chapter for our relationship.

If I thought it was a beautiful day prior to his perfect proposal (and it really was, I’d practically forgotten about getting engaged because we were just having such a nice time that I was living in the moment) as we walked around the park after that, I felt like a million dollars.  I wanted to tell everyone we walked past, “LOOK, ADAM PROPOSED AND I SAID YES!”  Instead I just grinned like an idiot and looked down at my ring every 30 seconds.  All glittery and sparkly in the sunshine.  I couldn’t believe that beautiful and important thing was mine, and the man I loved wanted me to have it, and him, forever.  I’m not anyone’s girlfriend anymore and I’m never going to be again.  I’m a FIANCEE.  And now everyone can see that Adam and I are promised to each other forever.

We got the same ice creams as last year before it was time to go.  I asked if he had let his mom know he was proposing today and he said he did.  So I showed her the ring after we got in the car before she started it, to let her know it was official.  Though I know in her mind the day we picked out the ring was the real start of our engagement, she was still happy for us.  When we got back his mom’s partner shook Adam’s hand and told him, “Well done.”  They let us know they had champagne for us before we head back to Adam’s house. 

We told his brother when we got back, and then went to Adam’s room to relax.  But before he even turned on the TV he was snoring.  All worn out, haha.

We ended the day with a quiet Indian take out for the two of us, to celebrate.  It was the perfect end to a perfect day.  Or maybe I should say, the perfect start to our romantic engagement.
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Getting Engagement Fever

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The last few weeks were agonizing.  I was getting engagement fever and could not stop thinking about when my engagement ring was going to be ready.  Our romantic engagement was hinging on the speed and will of craftsman instead of our love for each other, and I felt frustrated.  I was tired of waiting to get engaged and thinking about all the different romantic wedding proposals that he could be planning.  I just wanted to get engaged now.

The last two days on the other hand, the wait felt MUCH different.  It felt more like the joy I felt when Adam proposed that he propose.  This time I was waiting for Adam.  And I know and trust Adam.  I knew he wouldn’t keep me waiting too long, and the only reason he was thinking about romantic wedding proposals make me happy.

I had reminded Adam a few days ago about the picnic we planned to have this summer at East Carlton Park.  He jumped on the idea, secured a ride and checked the weather and it was on.  So last night I wondered.  Would this be where he’ll be proposing?  I hinted, “That will be romantic,” hoping he’d interpret it to mean, “Bring the ring with you.”

The more I thought about it, the more I wished that the park was where he would propose.  East Langton Park was beautiful, quiet, and since that’s where we had our first date, it would be the best marriage proposal location.  I really wanted this to be it!  But I couldn’t tell him I thought that would be the perfect proposal.  Sure I nudged him in that direction in case he was struggling or stressing for an idea.  But he deserved the opportunity to decide where, when, and how he wanted to ask me and present the engagement ring that he was so proud of.  I really had to keep telling myself that though he knows me well, he’s not a mind reader, so if his proposal wasn’t tomorrow it was okay.  I finally figured out how to live with a non-proposal at the park.  I decided that with or without the ring, the picnic would still be fun and romantic.  It could just be a precursor to the surprise engagement.  As though the proposal he set up for me was spread over multiple days.  And what I needed to do was to enjoy our picnic and just assume he would not propose there, or I’d end up wasting the day instead of having a nice time.

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Ring photo courtesy of:
James Jordan
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Working with the Engagement Photographer

Today was the day we picked up our engagement photographs. 

No wait, don’t press back, you didn’t miss a post.  We weren’t ACTUALLY engaged yet.  Not when first went to the engagement photographer, and not even by the time the engagement pictures were ready.  So okay, if you don’t want to think of them as actual engagement photographs then don’t, but I do.  Since Adam and I only see each other twice per year, we just have to cram a whole lot into a few weeks time.  So if it means overlapping the engagement pictures wait time and the ring wait time and going a little out of order, so be it.  After all, the engagement photographer did a great job.  And since my left hand was not visible in any of them, my lack of ring was inconspicuous. 

Like everything, we’d planned on getting these photographs done for months.  His mom and her partner got them done with an award winning engagement photographer, and Adam was so taken with them that he wanted to get some of us.  I bought a dress for the occasion (that’s a lie.  I bought 4.  Returned 2 and kept a spare).  I tried them on for Adam on webcam for help choosing, agonized over whether to go with red or purple until the day I packed for my visit, and searched high and low for a black shawl to coordinate with my shoes.  The night before we went to the engagement photographer I got ready for bed early so I would look refreshed, said goodnight to Adam and he said “I should probably figure out what I’m going to wear.”

Men.

When we went for the photo shoot Adam had warned me the engagement photographer was weird.  I didn’t think he was so bad.  He listened to what we wanted (head shots, ¾ shots, and full length shots) and added a few classic engagement photo poses we wouldn’t have thought of.  Some worked, some failed.  I was uncomfortable with the kneeling ones and it showed.  But since he took so many, when we went back a few days later and viewed them on the slide show he made for us, as we sat in front of the projection screen, we were able to narrow them down to 4 good ones. 

The tricky thing was deciding on the sizes to print our photographs.  We wanted them large enough to enjoy hanging on the wall, but small enough to fit in my suitcases.  The engagement photographer had the rectangles printed on a large sheet of paper to help us visualize them.  So the next issue was the fact that some were landscape and some were portrait.  He offered to make the matte taller on the landscape one so that all the frames were the same size but I quickly rejected that idea.  I knew that would stick out like a sore thumb, and I knew that each photo should stand on its own, not as part of a group.  He told me that’s smart, but some people just don’t see it that way.

A couple weeks later our engagement photographs were printed and we were able to pick out the frames, though this was sort of a waste of a trip.  Adam knew exactly which frames he wanted even before we took the photos.   They were pretty much my style too, so we reiterated that those were what we liked when he held them up to the photos, Adam asked for cream mattes with a gold border, and then it was just a matter of more waiting. 

It happened that we got the call that the photographs were ready within an hour of the call that the ring was ready yesterday.  So we picked them up, and they looked great.  His mom squealed in delight when she saw our engagement photographs.  I made Adam pick his favorite first, then I picked, them him, then me last.  Even though as he said, it doesn’t matter who gets what; eventually all 4 of our engagement pictures will be together.

Your Ring is Ready

.A few weeks after Adam ordered my solitaire engagement ring at the little shop in Kettering, we booked a stay in a hotel nearby to enjoy the shopping.  We walked by Totang each day, the store where he ordered my engagement ring setting, and I felt the same thrill each time, knowing very, very soon I would have my very own unique diamond engagement ring from there.  Finally our stay in Kettering ended, we packed and arrived back at his place and he went about checking his mail, taking care of some business that arose in his absence when he got a text.

The engagement ring was ready.

Later his brother told him that he knew it as soon as we did because he heard happy female screaming noises.

Adam called his mom for a ride there, and at first she said we could pick up my engagement ring tomorrow.  This was not what I wanted to hear, (brain screaming: “No!  Now!) but I kept my mouth shut.  I was too happy anyway.  And besides, it’s not like he was planning to propose this evening.  The ring was finished over a week early!  I was just so excited thinking Adam was going to have plenty of time to plan the perfect proposal that I didn’t care about anything else.  He went back to his business, and I enjoyed the romantic music that swelled in my head.

A couple hours later there was a knock on the door.  I saw it was his mom’s partner, ran downstairs, and he asked us if we wanted to go pick up my engagement ring in about 20 minutes.

More shrieking.

I went along for the ride, but I left the men to do their business and went shopping down the road.  I didn’t even want to see my engagement ring until Adam was ready to offer it to me with a proposal.  Maybe it’s not the same when you’ve discussed the engagement and picked out the ring together, but I did not want to take that experience away from him.  I am a traditional girl after all.  And I know I made the right choice, because the look on Adam’s face when he came out of that jewelry store was priceless.  I have never seen him look so proud and elated.  He had the little green bag with the gold bow, and walked so tall and when he saw me he beamed.

Later that night when I walked by the bedroom I saw him with the jewelry bag on his bed, peering into it like a kid at Christmas.  He looked up and saw that I caught him and the dimples made another appearance as he laughed.  I’ll never forget how he looked with that jewelry bag.
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